8/26/05 - Getting to Know You

I know two mothers of babies Eva's age who have already gone back to work. One is still trying to breastfeed by pumping. I can't imagine leaving Eva all day, letting someone else experience all the special moments, or having her compete with other children for attention in daycare. I love the fact that I know Eva better than anybody else, and she'd rather be in my arms than anywhere else. Sometimes it's a little overwhelming, but I know the time when she wants independence will come soon enough, so I don't begrudge a moment of it. I appreciate that I enjoy hundreds of little moments with her that are just between us. I love how she buries her face in my chest to let me know she's tired and hungry. I love the way she clutches at her hair or the front of my shirt with her free hand while nursing. I love the way she coos and gurgles at us when we talk to her and smiles in her sleep. I love that her favorite way to be held is over my shoulder, so she can push up on my lap with her chubby legs and see the world. I love watching her discover the world around her, simple things like the ceiling fan she always finds mesmerizing. I love that her toes curl around my finger like a little monkey whenever I touch her feet. I love that I know my baby better than anyone else.