10/29/05 - Growing Up

This has been a momentous week for Eva. We upgraded her car seat, moved her up to stage 4 diapers, and fed her solid food for the first time. I'm very sorry to see her outgrow her infant carrier so soon, because it means we can't just carry her in her car seat when she falls asleep. Now we'll have to try to get her out of the car without waking her up. We use a folded cloth diaper to help her sit up in the stroller, and balled up towels with a shopping cart cover to support her at the store, since she’s not able to sit up on her own yet. The new diaper size has been due for awhile, even though the stage 3 supposedly fits up to 26lbs. They're just not wide enough, and her diaper has been overflowing every time she poops. So it's time for an upgrade.

As for solids, I had originally planned on waiting another month, but she has been wanting to nurse so frequently the past couple days, I figured maybe adding some solids would make her less hungry. I expressed some breastmilk, mixed it with rice cereal, and fed it to her with a rubber-tipped spoon. She seemed to like it, and kept trying to grab the spoon and chew on it. It seemed too runny to me so I thickened it up a bit, and then she started spitting it out. I think the texture took her off guard. Last week I tried to have Dave give her expressed breastmilk in a bottle, just to see if we could leave her with a sitter. No can do. She would have none of it. I guess we'll have to wait a bit longer for that date night.

Playing Games

Eva loves to grab people’s faces, especially their mouths. She'll grab my lips and laugh hysterically when I nibble on her fingers. She also giggles at animals or people's expressions and antics. It's nice to know she's easily entertained. She has a habit of flapping her arms wildly about, as if she was trying to fly. Once she was holding her favorite plastic rings in her fist while waving her arms, and accidentally smacked herself in the face with them. Then she started crying and waving her arms even more, making it worse until I rescued her. I felt bad, but couldn't help laughing at her.

Sweet Dreams

What do babies dream about? How I'd love to get inside that tiny head and discover what elicits those little smiles and precious giggles. I was completely fascinated by her facial expressions while she slept as a newborn. Having no frame of reference for the outside world, I wondered, is she dreaming of being back in the womb and hearing mommy's tummy gurgling? Do her dreams now include images of Mommy and Daddy reaching for her? Does she smile at the memory of the dog that made her laugh today, or because she imagines that she's nursing in mommy's arms? My friend told me that her three-year-old son once woke up crying from a nightmare, and when she asked him what he dreamt, he said that he was playing with his favorite train by the ocean, and a wave washed it away. How I wish that was the worst my nightmares ever got. Must be nice to be a baby.

10/25/05 - The Next Generation

I was chatting with the ladies in my mother's group this week, and the subject of discipline came up. Since most of us have children under two, we're charting new territory. We talked about our own experiences growing up, how our parents handled discipline, what we thought worked, what we planned to do differently. Suddenly it occurred to me: in about 25 years, that will probably be Eva sitting with her own child in her lap, discussing how I raised her. I'm only one link in the chain, but if I can pass on the Godly heritage that my parents passed on to me, I will consider my best life goal completed.

Gains and Losses

We went with friends up to Bates Nut Farm this weekend and took adorable pictures of Eva in the pumpkin patch. We ran into our pastor and his family up there, and his 3-year-old grandson kept making faces at Eva, making her laugh hysterically. It was really cute. We had her all bundled up in a warm pink winter coat, hat and booties. She looked like a giant pink marshmallow. Most of her baby hair is gone on the back and sides of her head, rubbed off from laying down alot. But the hair on top has grown long and wavy, giving her a nice comb-over. Everyone tells me to gel it into a mohawk.

My hair, on the other hand, is coming out by the fistful. If I hadn't already read about this phenomenon in the pregnancy books, I'd blame it on the mold we found downstairs. A couple weeks ago I noticed a wet spot in the carpet next to Eva's play gym. I looked behind her toy chest and found a half-inch of fuzzy white mold growing out of the wall. The paint was buckled and the drywall was soft. Since our house is built on a hill, recent rainwater had pooled up and begun seeping through the wall. Dave had to go outside and dig a trench to allow run-off. We had to tear out the drywall and carpet padding, and we're going to have to replace the carpet. Oh, well. We were planning to refinance anyway.

Pumpkin Patch

Work At Home

The other mothers in my play group all do something on the side to help with the family finances. One cuts hair, one tutors children, and one sells Mary Kay. I’ve been looking at all my options for the past few months, and I finally decided to become a Discovery Toys consultant. They have fantastic products that I really believe in, and I can bring in a little extra income while staying at home with Eva. Better yet, I can earn money while getting together with other mothers and playing with toys! The representative I met with has been with Discovery Toys for 7 years, and has used the income to help send her children to Christian school, which I would absolutely love to do. I’m really looking forward to getting started and seeing how successful I can be at it.

10/19/05 - Little Extravert

Eva's personality is really beginning to shine through. Anybody who thinks children come into the world as blank slates probably doesn't have any. Babies are already born with their little personalities, and it's our job to get to know them. Eva has a very sunshiny disposition. She elicits smiles from strangers wherever we go, and is building herself quite a fan club. From the grocery store to restaurants, all she has to do is aim her dimply grin at one person and the baby-talk and flattery start rolling in. Lately people's comments have started shifting from "Look at all that hair!" to "Look at those cheeks!" One lady even asked Eva, "Are you storing nuts for winter?" So long as they don't try to pinch them, I'm O.K. I really don't want people's germy hands on my kid's face, especially during cold season. Eva draws the line at being picked up by strangers. They can coo at her all they want and she'll smile and squeal back, but watch out if they try to take her from mommy's arms! I have to stay within arm's reach and full view, or that lower lip puckers and the waterworks start.

Little Susie Homemaker

As much as I love staying at home with Eva, I’ve lost my initial momentum for keeping up with repetitious chores. I find myself losing motivation for the daily load of laundry or another sinkful of dishes. It’s discouraging that I'm never done because another load always sprouts up in its place, and the only tangible results I get are a full diaper pail and a pile of clean (though unfolded) clothes. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t sit at home all day watching soaps and eating bonbons. I make myself keep up with the daily tasks out of pure necessity, but tend to put off the bigger jobs too long. Chores like vacuuming or cleaning the bathrooms tend to get neglected because they are difficult for me to do while keeping an eye on Eva, especially in a three story house.

Running at least one errand a day is my favorite goal because it gets me out of the house. Cooking and baking are more enjoyable than I expected, partly because they provide an outlet for creativity. Dave says he appreciates how well I keep the house up, which I find incredible, but encouraging. He says he’s been able to relax more at home since I’ve been there to take care of things during the day. Since I spend a lot of the day in the house, I've really got the decorating bug. Fall is my favorite season and the weather is finally cooling off, so I bought a pumpkin, harvest-themed kitchen towels and window stickers of fall leaves to brighten up the place.

Bag Lady

People wonder why I carry such a big diaper bag. They wouldn't if they could have been with me today. I was driving down to the beach for a walk when I heard grunting in the back seat. That's never good. I pulled into the parking lot and took her out of her car seat. There was poop overflowing from her diaper, all the way up her back and onto the car seat. It took all the baby wipes to clean her up, a cloth diaper to cover the spot on her car seat, and a new outfit. Fast-forward to later in the afternoon when I was running errands, and I heard that tell-tale rumble again. Thankfully I’d packed another outfit and refilled the wipes, but I had to rummage through the trunk for an extra garbage bag to throw her poop-stained clothes in. And since her car seat was wet again from me cleaning it with disinfectant wipes, I decided to try putting her in the stroller without it. I had to strap her in tight since she can’t sit up on her own, but it worked. Eva is on the verge of outgrowing her car seat anyway, which goes up to 20lbs and 27 inches. It's supposed to last the first six months, but she's grown so fast we're going to have to buy a new one soon. Since hers doubles as an infant carrier that can also be mounted on the front of shopping carts, I don't know how I'll run errands when she outgrows it. She's not able to sit up in the front of a cart yet. It's somewhat frustrating, because although she's exactly where she's supposed to be developmentally, she's the size of an older baby.

10/14/05 - A New Role

Motherhood is full of contradictions. I can feel drained after spending the whole day taking care of Eva, counting the minutes until she goes to sleep. Then when she finally does, I don't want to put her down. I just want to hold her, admire her, bury my face in her neck and drink in her delicious baby smell. In the evenings I can't wait until Dave comes home, when I can have some adult conversation and hand Eva off for some daddy-daughter time. It's frustrating when she gets tired and fussy and only wants mommy. But when her tears turn to smiles the minute she sees my face, I can't help but melt.

They remodeled the old Ben Bridge Jewelers store where I used to work, and it looks fantastic. I go there every once in awhile when I’m walking in the mall and visit with my old co-workers, and sometimes I miss working there, but I wouldn't trade staying at home for anything. I love that I know my baby better than anyone else, and no daycare worker can take that away from me. I've been there for every sniffle and smile, and it's a privilege watching her grow. My mom flew down from Oregon for a surprise visit, and loved getting to visit with her new grandaughter.

Grins and Giggles

At four months, Eva is paying much more attention to people and activities around her now, which means she laughs and cries alot more often. She loves playing games with us, like copying each other's noises or tilting her upside-down. Nibbling on her face or pretending to eat her hands are sure to get her giggling. So does tickling her cheeks with her foot or making funny faces and noises. She has started smiling at me whenever she sees me, and she'll wave her arms excitedly to ask me to pick her up.

Since she's learned to roll over, she's spending more time on her tummy. The problem is that she doesn't like tummy time, and doesn't know how to roll onto her back yet, so she ends up frustrated and crying until I roll her back onto her back. It's totally backwards, because most babies learn to roll from tummy to back at three months, and don't learn rolling from back to tummy until five months. Apparently going from back to tummy takes more neck strength and is harder to do. Leave it to my daughter to learn the more difficult skill first, and get stranded by not knowing the easier skill. She's just full of surprises.

Pokes and Prods

We had another round of immunizations last week, which I was dreading for days. A friend showed me that massaging her thighs immediately before and after the shots increases blood flow the muscles, helps the medicine absorb quickly, and reduces discomfort. It seemed to help. Our pediatrician is very sweet, and loves Eva because she's always full of smiles and lets her hold her. She told me she'd been looking forward to seeing Evangelina all week. She had Eva's baby announcement in her hand when she came in, cooing about how cute it was and how excited she was to get it in the mail. She's a young doctor, only two years out of her internship, and you can tell she chose her specialty because she loves kids. I like the fact that she's young because she's up on the latest research and isn't necessarily stuck in her ways like some older practitioners are.

Eva weighed in at 18lbs 8oz and 25 ½ inches long, so she’s a growing girl. Dr. Ng couldn’t believe she was only nursing, and asked me if I was supplementing already. LOL! I've decided to wait awhile before introducing solids. Eva’s wearing 9-12 month clothes already. I have to check the small print for poundage on clothing labels, and ignore what month it says. Right now she fits into anything that says 18 to 24 lbs. She’ll hopefully stay that size through the winter. Now that she can roll and move around more, she probably won’t be gaining weight as rapidly.

10/02/05 - Rolling Over

Eva rolled over! She did it twice yesterday, but I missed it both times. I had set her down on her back on the play mat, stepped into the kitchen, and when I came back she was on her tummy. Up to this point she hadn't been very motivated since she didn't like being on her tummy. She would roll onto her side and stop, but after I nudged her a few times to roll all the way, she got the idea. Now we're going to have to finish childproofing. There's no telling what she can get in to now that she's mobile. At my mother’s group, we took a picture of Eva and little baby Jackson (only 3 days older than her) in their Padres baseball outfits. It was really cute.

Penny Pinching

We're starting to feel the effects of losing my income, which has made me more interested in at-home business opportunities. The problem is that if they're legitimate, they tend to have hefty start-up costs or promote more high-pressure selling than I'm comfortable with. I've joined a mystery shopper group, but they haven't had any local shops available lately, and only compensate an average of $5-$10 per shop. I’ve considered doing Discovery Toys, but I'm not keen on hosting lots of parties for strangers or paying $100 to start.

The Ben Bridge store where I used to work has been completely remodeled and is short-staffed for the holidays, but I would never consider going back to work. Babies need their mommies at home with them. I heard a woman on the radio who talked about working in a daycare center for infants when she was in college. She said there were three babies per person, some as young as six weeks old, and they could hardly keep up with feeding and changing them all, and couldn’t hold them half as much as they needed to. It just seems unnatural. I’d rather pinch my pennies. I found a great program called Mvelopes on the Crown Financial Ministries website, which helps me track our budget better.