1/30/06 - Busy Hands

Pull back your hair, put your drink out of reach, hide small objects - Eva's hands are on the loose, and nothing is safe! Eva has discovered a newfound ability to grab whatever she's interested in. When she sees us eating dinner, she always wants to be a part of it, sitting on our lap and grabbing anything within reach. When I pick her up, she goes instantly for any buttons, earrings, my hair, ears, or nose. Playing on the floor, she is starting to use her wiggling ability to go after power cords, bits of paper, and other trophies. No longer satisfied with age-appropriate toys, those curious fingers have the whole world to explore, and everything qualifies as a potential plaything!

Once she finally figures out how to crawl, there will be no stopping her. She's not that far off, either. She gets her legs tangled up trying to squirm forward, but it won't be long before she figures it out. She just needs something interestingly out of reach to motivate her, and she's off. One of her favorites is paper. She loves to feel it, bunch it up, listen to it krinkle, chew on it. At Christmas, no present was half as interesting as the paper it was wrapped in. When I take her shopping, she always grabs for my shopping list. When that doesn't work, she turns around and goes after the tag on her padded shopping seat cover, called a Floppy Seat. I need to cut that off. When we check out, she goes straight for the receipt.

Another favorite is pets. The cat has discovered she's dangerous if he gets too close, grabbing fistfuls of fur. Aunt Nanci's dog is smarter. When we visited the other day, she steered clear of the baby until Nanci gave Eva a dog biscuit to offer her. Eva didn't quite understand the concept, deciding to chew on the snack herself. Well, uncle Dennis buys accidentally buys the kids dog toys, so it only follows that Aunt Nanci will feed them dog treats! What can I say? Dave's family keeps life lively!

Indecent Exposure

Breastfeeding in public is a non-issue for me now. At first it was a real challenge because my letdown reflex was out of control, but I never soak myself anymore, now that my milk flow has regulated itself. Some people use a blanket to cover up, but I never do because it's not necessary with a good nursing top. You can't see anything once you get the hang of it. That way I don't have to keep rearranging it every time Eva grabs it, or bake her under a blanket on a warm day. Even a light cover can be smothering in the summer. Besides, nothing draws attention to a nursing mother like the blanket routine. It's like a billboard that announces to the whole room: "put on your best "don't-care" face, and pretend you're not imagining what's going on under this blanket while trying to carry on a conversation." I try not to be obvious, and I never ask permission. My days of sitting on the floor in a public restroom are over. It's gross and unnecessary. As long as I don't call attention to myself, most people don't even notice what I'm doing until I start burping her. If you don't act embarrassed, chances are, they won't either.

Momma Bear

Motherhood brings out the best and worst in you. I've always heard of the momma bear instinct, but I never realized how strong it can be. It can zero out your compassion for all mankind in a half a second. This week Dave had to call the relatives of one of his residents to come get her old, sick dog. When they came to take it away, this lady was so upset she threatened to take David's baby away "the same way he took my baby"! Dave told me at dinner that night, thinking it was kind of funny how outrageous some of his residents can be. But my reaction was much less charitable. The thought of this old lady comparing my daughter to an incontinent, one-eyed ankle-biter made my blood boil. I know she was upset and senile, making ridiculous idle threats, but it makes me angry even to think of it. No one better even THINK of touching my baby!

1/24/06 - Big Girl With The Toothy Grin

Eva finally got her first tooth! It finally popped through her lower gums today, after months of teething woes. And the second one, right beside it, isn't far behind. Eva isn't discriminatory about what she chews for comfort. The other day she grabbed my jeans when I was standing next to her and tried to bite my leg. The little piranha! Eva is getting to be such a big girl! She still has those deliciously chubby cheeks. Her hair is getting really long on top. It's shorter on the sides where it rubbed off when she was little, but it's already grown back enough to cover her ears. On the top, where it never fell out, it's several inches long now. I put a little barrette in to keep it out of her eyes. One more thing to try and keep out of her mouth.

Eva loves to pull on her hair when she's nursing and sleeping. She tries to run her fingers through it and tangles it up. Then when she wakes, she has a crazy case of bed head. I have to spray detangler in her hair to comb out her matted mop. Her hair isn't the only thing that's growing. She's already getting too tall for 12-month baby clothes, but 18-month clothes tend to be too long and skinny for her chubby legs. They just don't design clothes for 7-month olds her size! On another good note, her doctor says that her eyes have dramatically improved since wearing her glasses, and she just might be able to avoid surgery. They’ll know more at her check-up in another months, so keep praying!

Ups and Downs

I've been fighting a bad chest cold all week, probably brought on by all that sleep deprivation. Just as Eva's begun to sleep better, I've started waking her up with my coughing. Dave has ended up taking her after she nurses so he can get her back to sleep and put her in her crib. He's taken to sleeping on the couch because my cough keeps him up. I finally took some Nyquil, even though I'm breastfeeding, and it doesn't seem to have affected her. I just have to be careful about antihistamines for my runny nose, because they can dry up my milk supply. Luckily Eva hasn't gotten my cold, but I hear that babies get your immunity through your breast milk whenever you're fighting an illness. Dave stayed home with me on Friday. Since the screen was going out my ViewSonic Pocket PC, he took it to Fry's for warranty service. They ended up exchanging it for a refurbished HP iPaq Pocket PC in mint condition! That's definite trade up! My original was only $99, and this new one is worth over $285, but it was the only comparable thing they had since both were refurbished. What a blessing! Now I can carry electronic pictures of Eva with me along with the address book and other features.

Saying Goodbye

My friend Jessica left yesterday. She's been staying in our guest room with her 20-month old son since she decided to divorce her husband in September. At first it was just when he was home on weekends, but it became full time just before Christmas. While it's nice to have our office/guest room back, I'm certainly going to miss them. Eva will too. She spotted Jonathan at the top if the stairs as they were on their way out the door, and started clapping her hands and squealing. When he didn't come down and went outside instead, she sat there with a perplexed expression on her face, like "where's my playmate?" When they came back later to say goodbye, Jonathan toddled into the kitchen for a drink. Eva started fussing and straining to see him, but couldn't follow him because she hasn't figured out how to crawl yet. But as soon as he came back around the corner, she perked up, laughing, clapping, and bouncing on her bottom. She loves to watch him run around and play. I guess I'll have to schedule a couple of play dates besides mother's group when she gets older. She's definitely social.

1/16/06 - Sleep Deprivation

Eva's sleep hasn't improved much, but I blame the swollen bumps in her lower gums caused by emerging teeth. I hate that she has to go through this. I wonder why it has to be so painful for them. Dave is so used to her noises that they rarely wake him anymore, and he's been known to remark, "Eva must have slept well last night!" the morning after she spent the night waking me every two hours. Occasionally he'll take her for an hour or two in the morning so I can catch some sleep before he goes to work. I'd ask him to take a couple turns of night duty, but he can't afford to be dragging at work the next day. Eva's naps have been erratic as well. She has no problem falling asleep; it's staying asleep that's the problem. She'll rarely nap for more than a half hour. It's worse when she catches a catnap, because it gives her just enough of a re-charge to keep her awake and fussy for another hour or two.

Sunday was the worst. I had tried all afternoon to get Eva to sleep: nursing, rocking, even throwing her in the car and driving around the block a few times. She'd rub her eyes and nod off for a few minutes, but always wake up. We decided to still go to the couple's meeting at our pastor's house and see how she did. We left her in childcare around 5pm and told them to call us when she started fussing, because she'd had a rough day. At 6:30 we got the call that they couldn't calm her down. I went over and found her on the floor, trying to consol herself chewing on a toy, her glasses fogged with tears. There were too many other babies crying and not enough arms to go around. She saw me and burst into tears, and when she finally quieted down she'd still hiccough and sniffle every couple minutes, so worked up she couldn't even nurse. She held onto me with an iron grip, and it took her at least half an hour to completely calm down. I felt so guilty for leaving her when I knew how tired she was. I've never seen her that upset.

Admiration Society

Eva has always had admirers wherever she goes, and the glasses have only drawn more attention. Where at first they would just smile or mutter "how cute!" when we'd pass by, now they stop, tell their companion "look at the baby with the glasses!" and want to talk to ask questions. One lady got too close at the grocery store and made her cry. The stranger anxiety phase seems to have really kicked in. Everyone always wants to know "are those glasses real?" and "how can they possibly tell what a baby sees?" I have no idea. All I know is they looked at the shape of her inner eye and her visual response to different power lenses. And she's crossed her eyes alot less since she started wearing them.

Baby Talk & Murphy's Law

Eva’s interaction with others is becoming more sophisticated now. She’s much more verbal, stringing together incoherent sounds like "ba-ba-maow-wa!" If you respond in kind, she'll shriek with laughter, clap her hands, blow some spit bubbles and start prattling in your face at machine-gun speed. She’s a true female! She’s also learned how to scoot ever-so-gradually across the floor on her bottom. I don’t think she does it deliberately. She just lunges for things and ends up moving farther and farther away from her original spot, until she realizes she’s halfway across the room. I’ve learned a lot about motherhood these past few months, and I have my beautiful daughter to thank for that. Some of it, I’ve decided, should be added to the ever-growing list of “Murphy’s Laws”. For instance:

- The longer the to-do list, the fussier the baby.
- Baby feet are magnetically attracted to poopy diapers.
- Babies wait to spit up until you change into a clean shirt.
- The messiest diaper of the day will be either the one you have to change in the car, or the one immediately after their bath.
- Warm bathwater just begs to be peed in.
- Babies always pull an all-nighter just before an early morning appointment.

I have also decided that all new parents should be required to sign a contract waiving all rights to eat, sleep or pee uninterrupted for the next 18 years, just so they know what they’re in for.

1/9/06 - Sleep, Elusive Sleep

This week has been tough. Eva has been having trouble sleeping and wakes every hour wanting to nurse. I haven’t slept in four days. I finally stopped trying to take her back to her crib, and just put a toddler rail on my side in case she tries to roll out of our bed. That helps me grab a few more minutes than I would otherwise get. I know a lot of parents use the “don’t pick her up, let her cry it out” method at this age, but that’s not my style.

I know this is unusual behavior for her: she’s crying because she’s not feeling well, and she needs to be comforted. I’d rather my baby want comfort from her mother instead of substitutes like a pacifier or blanket. I’d rather she learn to trust people, not inanimate objects. Last night her diaper leaked and soaked her nightgown and crib sheet. If I’d ignored her crying, I wouldn’t have known that. Between that, and trying to keep her glasses out of her mouth and on her face every waking hour, I’m pretty wasted right now. And I can’t have any caffeine because it will wire Eva for sound. So I drink my decaf, nap with her when I can, and wait for this phase to end. This too will pass, and she’ll be sleeping through the night again soon.

Prayers and Prophecies

This week at church, our pastor and several others laid hands on Eva and prayed for the healing of her eyes during the Sunday morning service. Right now they are encouraging people to practice hearing the voice of God, so several people had Words for her. One was that Eva had a special anointing for "seeing", that is, spiritual insight. That God was going to show her His glory in both the physical and spiritual realms, and her gift of sight was under attack. They prayed for her healing as well as protection, and that God would begin to reveal Himself to her even now, at her young age. I've often wondered how I should specifically pray for my daughter. Her name means "bringer of good news" because I want her to be a witness, but my heart gave a leap of confirmation at these new words. Prophetic insight is a common spiritual gift in my family, passed down by my parents, as well as her namesake, my friend Eva from YWAM. I greatly desire to see Eva grow in her unique calling.

Feeding Fiasco

Eva seems to be losing interest in baby food. She loves to watch us eat dinner and reaches for our food or wants to drink from our cup, but doesn’t seem interested in her own food. I try to give her as much variety as possible, fruit in the morning and veggies in the evening. I know she needs extra iron in her diet now, so I usually mix in a spoonful of baby cereal. She never eats more than half a jar of baby food, so I've learned to spoon out half into a bowl, and put the rest in the fridge for later. You can't save baby food if you've fed them directly from the jar, because bacteria from their mouth is introduced into the food and grows there.

Lately Eva starts fussing after 10 or 15 bites, won't open her mouth anymore and turns her head away. I don't want to force her if she's not hungry, but the problem isn't usually her appetite. She'll want to nurse right after I take her out of the high chair. And though she hated bottles, Eva loves her sippy cup, especially the one with a soft, rubber lip. She loves to bite and chew on it, play with it and sip the water. I never put juice in there because I don't want her to get in the habit of drinking alot of sweet things. I want her to like water, since it's better for you, especially when summer comes. At first I thought maybe the cold water felt good on her gums, so I refrigerated the food to make it more palatable. Didn't work. She still prefers the breast. I think she's teething again and she just wants the comfort.

Branching Out

Eva is very confident sitting up now. She'll lunge out as far as she can go to grab a new toy, and return easily to a sitting position without losing her balance. She bounces on her bottom and claps her hands when she's excited or thinks something is funny. Sometimes she'll clap with a toy in her hands. Eva is having alot more fun in the tub now that she can sit up and play with her toys. She loves to grab the washcloth and suck water out of it. The sound of it is like nails on a chalkboard to me. We've had a renewed episode of "attack of the ants" in our bathroom. No matter how well I rinse out the tub, I always end up having to fish a half-dozen of their little corpses out of her bathwater before I can put her in.

Playtime Antics

Eva has developed a strange interest in tags. I've had to cut them off all her toys because they're the first thing she goes for and tries to put in her mouth. She keeps playing with her glasses, so I have to watch constantly that they're not in her mouth or around her neck. Every time she takes them off I have to clean them so she's not squinting through a haze of slobber. I tried to tighten the band behind her head, but it's cloth and she stretches it right out again. She also has a real preference for her plastic toy balls, especially the roll-a-rounds that make noise and have colorful things inside. In her playhouse she always goes straight for the balls that swirl around in a bowl-shaped dip. She loves to stir them around, throw them, or bang them together. When did she learn to do all that? I read her profile for 7 months and it said she should be able to pass toys from one hand to the other. She's been doing that for awhile, and I never noticed it was a new skill? Some things just happen so naturally you forget that they're milestones.

1/4/06 - A Whole New World

Eva finally got her new glasses, and seems to be enjoying her new view of the world. It's too soon yet to tell if the glasses will help break her habit of crossing her eyes to see things up close, but we're hopeful. The hardest part is keeping them on. She's supposed to wear them every waking hour, but she keeps grabbing them off her face and chewing on them. Then I have to clean them and put them back on her. They have rubber frames, so they're safe to put in her mouth, but they have a soft band that goes behind her head and threatens to wrap around her neck when she pulls her glasses. And when she lays on her back, the glasses get bumped forward because the side pieces are too long. This also happens in her car seat and high chair - anytime there's something behind her head. It's next to impossible for her to wear them while nursing, or when she's tired and keeps rubbing her eyes. This is already a huge pain in the butt, and it's only been the first day. I know the constant on-again, off-again is hard on her eyes and probably giving her a headache.

Spit Happens

Eva is finally over her stomach bug, which is a blessing. New Year's Eve was the worst. Eva unexpectedly threw up in the Albertson's parking lot before we even got in the door. She gave absolutely no warning, not even a cry. Thankfully I hadn’t put her in a shopping cart yet, and all she hit was pavement. I held her in one arm, the diaper bag in the other while she finished, then turned around and put her right back in the car and took her home. She ended up being fine the rest of the day. We had Dave's sister's family over for pizza and faked his nephews out at 9pm with the New York ball-drop, yelling "happy new year!" and blowing noise-makers.

Big Baby

At seven months old, Eva is now what I would qualify as an older baby: not yet a toddler, but not a helpless newborn either. She's very self-sufficient in a variety of ways. She can sit on the floor and amuse herself with her toys while I work on the computer or clean the kitchen. I just have to stay where she can see me, but that's mutual anyway. She can sit in the front of a shopping cart or a restaurant highchair and sip water from her sippy cup. She can wake briefly, let out a little cry, and settle herself back to sleep, unless she's hungry or wet. She can play with other children and take a few knocks without getting upset. She can roll across the room in half a minute, and find something that shouldn't be in her mouth in half a second. And she's been really good about settling into her own schedule.

Follow The Leader

I have to say, I'm very glad I ignored the advice of the "baby-trainer" books, and decided to follow my own instincts instead. If you take the time to get to know your baby's cries and cues, you can better meet their needs, and build the foundation of trust that is needed for loving discipline in the future. Eva has set her own natural routine without me having to wrestle with her to adhere to MY schedule. She has a morning nap, plays and has lunch, takes an afternoon nap, enjoys the evening with Daddy, and goes down for the night. Of course there are variations, like when teething pain interrupts her sleep or alot of noise and activity make it difficult for her to go down, but for the most part she keeps herself on track.

Sometimes she sleeps in her own bed, sometimes she needs the extra comfort and reassurance of sleeping in our bed and nursing more frequently. But these gentle sways between self-sufficiency and back help to build her trust in us and confidence in herself. We've done well to follow her lead. If she wakes from a nap earlier than usual and won't go back down, I don't force her to stay in her crib until the allotted number of minutes have passed. I just let her get up and play until she wears out again. She knows when she's hungry, tired or over-stimulated, and she lets us know. If she won't go to bed on time, I just carry her downstairs to the living room and put off her bedtime routine until she starts rubbing her eyes. It's not as if she has to be at school the next day. I have a happy, content baby who is rarely fussy and doesn't throw fits, so I'm confident we're doing what is best for her personality at this time.