9/29/07 - Fall Weather

I can tell already, the weather is probably going to be one of our biggest adjustments. Yesterday was so cold it felt like Christmas to me: 55 for the high (of course, that's wimpy California Christmas weather). It was so hot when we left San Diego just two weeks ago, it feels like we went straight from summer to winter, and completely skipped fall. Autumn is my favorite season, because it’s usually just cold enough to wear my favorite sweaters, enjoy the fireplace and a cup of cocoa. Our apartment doesn't have a fireplace, of course, so we'll have to make do with candles this year.

Portland Children's Museum

The cold, wet weather has already got me trying to come up with ideas of where I can take Eva to burn off some steam during the winter months. The indoor playground at the community center is available three mornings a week, and then there’s the mall across from Gymboree. Both are 20 minutes away, but they’ll do. We tried out the Portland Children's Museum today since it was raining, and Eva enjoyed playing with all the interactive exhibits. She seemed a little overwhelmed and cranky after awhile, so we decided to get the membership so she can enjoy it in small doses, instead of trying to see everything at once. One more option to add to the “things to do on rainy days” list. I felt inside her mouth when we got home, and sure enough there’s a big molar in the back trying to make it’s way in. Poor thing, she’s got a long way to go before all four come in. I don’t know why teething has to be so rough on them.

Rain, Rain, Go Away!!

Downpour

In Southern California, rain is so rare, you pretty much try to stay cozy at home until it's over. But it rains so much here, life can't afford to be put on hold. You just learn to work with it. I had my first taste of this on Friday, when I took the girls to the nearest mall to check it out. It was raining when we left, and I hurried to get both girls into their car seats and the stroller folded into the trunk before we were all completely soaked. It rained so hard on the way home that visibility on the road was seriously impaired, but cleared up long enough for me to get the girls into the house before it started back up again. Soon I saw it hailing pea-sized chunks of ice out of our living room window. What a trip! Maybe this was some sort of special initiation weather just for us: welcome to Oregon!

California Girl

I feel like such a wimp about the weather. Of course there are plenty of mothers all over the country who manage to haul their kids around running errands in the rain and snow. I just have no experience with it personally, so it’s a challenge to figure it out as I go. I’ve managed to do my grocery shopping by wearing the baby in a sling and putting Eva in the cart, but how do you do that in the rain? I'm learning that holding an umbrella often isn't practical, especially when you need both hands. Eva has an adorable "Dora the Explorer" kiddy umbrella, but of course I forgot to bring it. She thinks it's a fun toy, anyway, and doesn't quite understand that she has to keep it over her head. It will be nice once she learns how to use it, so she can help keep herself dry when I have to carry the baby. We have to park at the end of our building and make multiple trips to get all the groceries into the apartment…no more cozy, dry attached garage!

Mom Jeans

When Mom and I went to the outlet mall a couple weeks ago, I was on the hunt for more jeans for winter. I only had one well-worn pair that fit my postpartum body. I tried on several at the Levi outlet, but none of them fit. Then Amanda started crying, and we had to leave. After Mom left, I knew it would be next to impossible for me to shop for clothes with both girls, so I went online and ordered the only brand and size I could be sure would fit, identical to my old pair. They're not very sexy, but at least they're comfortable and don't require any hemming.

I have to confess, I feel pretty frumpy these days, as if the frazzled feeling on the inside is showing on the outside as well. My hair is in that unsightly in-between stage while I try to decide whether to cut it or let it grow out, and I know I'm only weeks away from the postpartum stage where my hair falls out, so I'm in limbo. My tummy is hideously scarred with stretch marks and loose skin. After Eva was born, I accepted my postpartum body as the natural result of all the wear and tear it had been through. This time, though, I can’t just overlook it. I’ll certainly never get my pre-pregnancy body back, but I’m hoping I can improve it, short of a tummy tuck. J

My weight is holding steady at 18lbs above my goal. I try not to snack, but I'm constantly hungry because I'm nursing, just like when I was pregnant. I find myself nibbling throughout the day on anything that's within quick reach, which usually ends up being some form of bread. Oreos are my weakness right now. A nursing mother's body supposedly burns around 400 calories a day by producing milk, but that must be just enough to keep me at my current weight. It certainly hasn’t helped me lose any. I make healthy dinners, always include a variety of veggies, and take my vitamins, because I want Amanda to get all the nutrients she needs. I need to get more exercise, so I take Eva for walks around the apartment complex with Amanda in the sling, and try to take advantage of opportunities to get out of the house with our playgroup. Still, it's more exercise for the kids than it is for us. They have so much energy that we get exhausted just trying to keep up. And lets face it: taking small children out of the house is a lot of work, though it may not get your heart rate up enough to burn tons of calories.

9/26/07 - Baby's First Cold

Amanda is officially 2 months old now (9 weeks). Where did the time go?? Unfortunately, everybody is sick right now. I guess it was inevitable, with all the stress of moving, the weather change, and the lack of sleep. It came on kind of suddenly last night. Poor Amanda couldn’t breathe because her nose was so stuffed, and I had to keep suctioning it out with the bulb so she could nurse. Of course she hates that, and would scream and struggle every time I tried it. Around 3am I finally gave her a ¼ dose of infant Tylenol Cold, and tried to sleep holding her upright in the recliner. It worked for awhile, but she was waking at least every hour. Dave and I got hardly any sleep, and both of us have sore throats and stuffy noses as well.

East Portland Community Center

Plugging In

Dave and I are starting to get more familiar with the area now. We opened new accounts since our old bank was just for California, and found a chiropractor we liked. We located the local WinCo (you have to bag your own groceries, sorta like Food 4 Less) and a whole foods store called Wild Oats. I’ve started taking the girls to activities with the playgroup I found on MeetUp.com, and so far they’ve been a lot of fun. The East Portland Community Center transforms their gym into an indoor playground three mornings a week, complete with toys, ride-ons and stuff to climb on. It’s fantastic, having a whole basketball court’s worth of space for them to run around in, without worrying about the weather! It’s actually been nice and sunny the past few days, in the mid 70’s, though it’s been down to the 40’s at night. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and we’re expecting rain the next couple days (the “real” fall weather for this area).

9/23/07 - Busy Week

Dave had an interesting first week at his new job. Most of it was spent in training, but he also hired several new employees and had to fire three. The building hasn't had a real Executive Director for at least six months (the the fill-in ED had been flying in from Minneapolis every week), so there was quite a bit of disorganization and chaos to be dealt with. The staff had apparently gotten used to running their own show and are still sizing Dave up, while a few had to be let go because their background checks came back as less than pristine.

On Saturday we enjoyed his first day off by exploring the area a bit. We went to nearby Old Town Troutdale, which has a lot of shops, an antique mall and a farmer's market. Later we went to a family BBQ hosted by a playgroup I had found on MeetUp.com. It was a nice group of families, a couple of whom had also recently moved up from California. I hope we can find some good friends among them. Sunday we had planned to check out one of the local churches in our search for a church family. But Eva had been up repeatedly during the night, and then Dave got an call around 6am to go in and find a replacement for a caregiver who had called in sick. He didn't get back until 10, and then had breakfast and went back to bed. Eva was still cranky from a sleepless night, so I put her down for an early nap, too. So here I am at 10:30 in the morning and everybody is asleep! I don't know what to do with myself. So I blog, of course! :)

Tough Transition

I took Eva to her first Gymboree class on Friday, telling her on the way that we were going to play with balls at the gym (the ball pit used to be her favorite thing at WeeStart). When we got there and she realized the place looked different, she started crying and wouldn’t let go of me. She huddled in the corner with me for awhile, watching the other kids play, until she finally relaxed and decided to join them. It’s just one more thing that’s different in her life, which makes it hard to adjust. It appears that Eva is finally realizing that we're not going home, and is starting to react to it (the imminent emergence of her two-year molars could have something to do with it, too).

She's started waking several times during the night, wanting to sleep with us. She's become more whiny and clingy during the day, testing the limits wherever she can. I think that traveling was just an adventure, and the fact that my Mom was here the first few days made her think this was Grandma's house, and we were just visiting. But the last few times we've come back to this apartment from an errand, and Grandma wasn't here, has probably helped to make it sink in. We're staying here and not going back, and that's got her unsettled. She's been asking a lot for Auntie (Nanci) and Amber, especially when we're getting into the car, hoping we're going to visit them. It's hard to think that that's not possible, and she doesn't understand why they don't come around anymore.

Apartment Living

We went out and bought a microwave this week because our apartment doesn’t have one. I hate living in apartments and depending on some overworked maintenance man to get around to the simplest tasks. Can I just get that off my chest right now? So far the only work order he's taken care of is replacing the screens on our storm windows so we can get fresh air without the cat escaping. The rails are missing from the fridge door, so you can't put anything there without it falling out. The thermostat in Eva's room is malfunctioning, one of the kitchen cabinet drawers is broken, and there's an exposed carpet tack strip in the doorway to the bathroom. I've had to cover it with a folded towel to keep someone from cutting their foot. The toilet runs constantly, and the drain in the bathtub won't plug, so we've had to stuff it with a plastic bag in order to fill the tub with water (Eva's terrified of showers).

And speaking of water, ours has been coming out of the faucets a light brown color. At first I thought the tap water wasn't half bad: it doesn't have the chlorine flavor of southern California, and you can taste the minerals. But the color makes me suspect we have more than our share of rust in the water, which isn't good. The electric stove is packed in so tightly that you have to open the oven door to get into one of the drawers, because the oven handle blocks it. If this were our house, Dave would have everything fixed by now. But it's not, and he can't just go to Home Depot and start replacing things. Sure, every house has it's quirks, but this is ridiculous! And of course, the neighbor upstairs is a single guy who works at a video arcade, and is so hearing impaired that he blares his movies and video games through the wee hours of the night. Dave had to go up in his boxers at 2am to ask him to cool it. Thank goodness we only signed a six month lease. There! Done venting! I feel better now.

9/21/07 - A Day In The Life Of A Toddler

Wake up, eat oatmeal, get dressed. Pull all the DVD's off the bottom shelf. Get caught, stack them back with Mommy's help. Put together puzzle. Get into the bottom kitchen cabinet and open bottle of chocolate syrup. Get caught before I can have any real fun with it.

Blow bubbles in living room. Ask for snack. Yell "phew!" as Mommy changes sister's diaper. Take off glasses. Bend and twist them until lenses pop out. Watch Mommy try to find them. Carry cat's food and water dishes to the couch. Splash and mix them together. Get caught, yell "mess!" repeatedly.

Pull tissues from kleenex box, put in trash. Play with stacking cups. Get on computer and start playing with mouse and keyboard. Get caught. Ask for snack. Yell "phew!" as Mommy changes sister's diaper. Play with telephone. Climb onto dining room table to reach bouncy seat and give sister a kiss. Get caught.

Eat lunch. Scream bloody murder when Mommy puts me down for nap. Pull all the diapers out of their package. Get caught. Wake up from nap. Ask for snack. Yell "phew!" as Mommy changes sister's diaper. Chase Rebel. Color in coloring book. Start coloring chair and table as well. Get caught.

Go with Mommy to get the mail. Run ahead or lag behind. Walk anywhere except next to Mommy. Get back home, talk to Auntie on the telephone. Play with napping sister's feet until she wakes up. Get caught.

Push step stool around kitchen floor as Mommy tries to make dinner. Get kicked out. Watch "Little Einsteins" to stay out from underfoot. Ask for snack. Yell "phew!" as Mommy changes sister's diaper. Pull camera out of case, yell "cheese" and pretend to take picture. Throw camera across the room. Get caught.

Greet Daddy with squeals. Eat dinner. Insist on eating anybody's food but mine. Take bath. Scream bloody murder whenever water is poured over my head. Get into pajamas. Ask for snack. Yell "phew!" as Mommy changes sister's diaper. Play with magnets on fridge. Have Daddy read me stories and put me to bed. Scream bloody murder when he turns light off and leaves. Finally collapse to sleep. Tomorrow is another busy day!

9/19/07 - Home Sweet Home

Our apartment is starting to look like a home now. Most of the major stuff has been unpacked, and the only boxes that remain are either in storage, or are stacked up in the spare bedroom and closets. A lot of it we won’t unpack because we won’t need whatever they contain within the next 6 months. I take Eva for a walk around the complex at least once a day, and try to pick up the mail (none has been delivered yet). I wear Amanda in the wrap, and sometimes only the top of her head sticks out, like a spiky little scrub brush. Her hair is starting to look red in the sunlight, while her eyes are still gray-blue. It was sunny today, so I let Eva run around in the common grassy area with a ball, and she really enjoyed it. But we had to watch out for the many piles of dog doo that certain neighbors neglected to pick up. Ick!

I’ve been doing a lot of internet research, trying to find out what’s available in the neighborhood. The nearest bank, library, etc. I’ve also been looking for local playgroups or mommy groups, and hope to meet some mom friends soon. I’ve been watching the local news as often as I can to learn about the local happenings and issues. In San Diego, local news means just the cities or nearby counties like LA or Riverside. Up here, local news means the entire state! And the local NorthWest Cable News Channel actually covers all of Washington, Oregon and Idaho. I guess that’s how it works in areas with lower populations.

Living Room

Toddler Antics

Eva's handling this move a lot better than I expected. She's napping as usual in her room, despite the boxes, and doesn't seem to have any problems sleeping at night. She loves to help by taking things to the trash or "unpacking" anything she can get her hands on. The computer has become a favorite toy, and I just know that one of these days I'm gonna sit down to find all our settings screwed up. Her baby sister is a great source of amusement, if she can get close enough. She'll try to kiss her, feed her a cracker, wipe her face, cover her with a blanket, or enhance her bouncy chair experience with about as much gentleness as you would expect from an active 2-year-old. Sometimes she climbs into the bounce chair herself and uses it as a recliner, until she gets stuck.

Eva yells "oh, gosh!" repeatedly whenever she sees me changing one of Amanda's poopy diapers. She's always asking for soda crackers, apparently considering them a favorite form of cookie. Other favorite "kacks" (snacks) include yogurt, cheese sticks, grapes and bananas. Lately she's started trying to pull down her pants and undoing her diaper, yelling "potty" or claiming to be wet. Looks like it might finally be time to potty train. She's already graduated to size 6 diapers (the largest). Might be more of a challenge now that we have to bundle up more. She's adjusting well to cooler weather, shoes and jackets, though.

Toddler Gym

I'm looking forward to getting Eva involved in the local Gymboree classes. I only hope they're half as good as Allison's programs at the WeeStart Gym back in Carlsbad. Eva loved going there, and the teachers loved her. Our last day there, they let us crash the toddler art class, which turned out to be a big hit. Eva still copies and repeats things she learned there. Allison used to kiss all the kids good-bye with a giant stuffed teddy bear, so Eva has started using her dolly to kiss people and things good-bye. She loves to do the "bunny hop" and other warm up exercises, like grabbing her foot and pulling it "up, up, up, and down!" She recites "crinkle lil' 'tar" and other adorable ditties.

8 Weeks Old

Amanda is growing by leaps and bounds. In our last appointment before we left, she weighed in at 11lbs, 8oz. She's grown a double chin, and the pinchable chubby cheeks of a breastfed baby. While she's sleeping well at night, she seems to have more trouble during the day, waking every time I set her down. When we go out, she spends a good portion of the time in the MobyWrap. People are always asking me where I got it and how it works. She hates her car seat, and it's always a countdown to scream time whenever we buckle her in there.

I know it's early, but I think Amanda may be starting to teethe already. She's started drooling, and has bit me a couple times while nursing, a common sign of trying to soothe her gums. We've been working on trying to get rid of her cradle cap, made worse by the weather change. Gentle Naturals makes a scalp lotion and shampoo that seem to help.

9/18/07 - Settling In

David started his new job yesterday, managing an Alterra Assisted Living facility only a few blocks from our apartment. I've only seen the outside, but it's a beautiful building. Mom and I drove past it as we drove around the neighborhood. We had to stay out all day while the bathrooms and kitchen were getting done, so we made good use of the time.

We checked out the local Outlet Mall and tried to find me some new jeans that fit (no such luck). We went to Home Depot to replace Dave's power tool charger, and ate lunch at Taco Del Mar. There's no Rubio's up here, but for my fish taco fix, this ranks a close second. When Eva was ready for a nap, we took a 20 minute drive to Gymboree Play & Music. It's the closest place I could find that offered classes similar to what she enjoyed at the WeeStart Gym in Carlsbad. For the rest of the items on my list, we hit the Wal-Mart Supercenter down the freeway. For a frazzled mother trying to run errands with a 2-year-old and a newborn, having all your groceries and other shopping in one place (especially when it's raining) is a Godsend. Of course we were frequently interrupted throughout the day with diaper changes and nursing, but since we couldn't stay home and unpack, it was good to get so many other things out of the way.

Hotel Stay

The new flooring in our kitchen and bathrooms looks 100% better. Unfortunately, the fumes from the spray coating they used to resurface the tub and shower enclosures were overpowering. All the windows open and fans running in the bathrooms wasn't enough to clear out the stench. Mom worried about all of us breathing those toxic fumes, especially the girls, and suggested we go to a hotel. When we found out we couldn't use the bathrooms for at least 24 hours, that clinched it. So we packed up a suitcase and headed to the nearest Motel 6, and Mom started the 4 1/2 hour drive back to Grants Pass.

Culture Shock

The new sights and scenery might make me feel like I was on vacation, were it not for all the exhaustion of moving and unpacking, trying to make everything fit when we're missing the storage space of walk-in closets and a garage. It looks like our third bedroom will stay as our storage room for awhile. We know we won't be staying in this shabby apartment any longer than our six-month lease, so we hesitate to unpack anything we don't really need. We don't want to have to pack everything back up again so soon.

Despite our disappointment with our new digs, the surrounding area is very nice. The difference in weather from what we left behind sort of caught me off guard. When I checked the Portland weather online, it predicted highs in the 80's for the next week. All I packed in our suitcase were summer clothes. But we got up here, and it's been cloudy and rainy with highs between 68 and 70. I know it's supposed to be like this in the fall, but it's a sudden shift when only last week I was wearing shorts and sandals. The girls are getting accustomed to long sleeves pretty quickly, though Eva still wants to go barefoot. I had to buy her size 6 toddler shoes when we got here because she only had sandals that still fit her. Amanda wants to be held so much that I've been wearing her in the Moby Wrap a lot. She's such a little heater, I don't even need a jacket.

State Differences

It's weird to be trading constant sunshine for rain, beaches and deserts for forest and mountains, and palm and eucalyptus trees for pines and maples. The only real bummer about cold weather right now is that I can't have any coffee while I'm nursing, and I can't have hot cocoa because of my dairy allergy. So instead I'm enjoying herbal teas in a "Beware the sleep deprived mommy" mug, given to me by my good friend Amber.

I’m trying to learn some of the subtle differences of living here. For one thing, you’re not allowed to pump your own gas: the attendant has to do it for you. And you can’t make U-turns unless specifically indicated by a road sign. It rains a lot more here, which is why everything is so green. And speaking of green, it seems strange to me that an apartment complex in one of leading states for “green” living has no gas appliances (only electric), and doesn’t offer recycling bins next to their dumpsters.

9/16/07 - Here We Are!!

After three weeks of packing and four days of traveling, we've finally arrived at our new home. When we got to our apartments, the first thing we were told was that there had been a last minute issue and it wasn't ready. They offered us another unit which was partially ready, but we'd have to be out of the house all day Monday so they could finish resurfacing the bathrooms and replacing all the linoleum. We also had to change our forwarding address again. I called the cable company to let them know our telephone, cable and internet installation appointment would have to be moved to a different unit, and the tech generously offered to come down within an hour (two days early) and set it up.

First Impressions

“Under whelmed” (and that's putting it politely). As it turned out, the bathrooms and floors weren't the only things unfinished. By the first evening, we had a whole list of work orders for the maintenance guy: exposed carpet tack in the doorway to the bathroom, a broken drawer in the kitchen, missing screens on our storm windows, pieces missing from the fridge, a malfunctioning thermostat in Eva's room, etc. The neighbor upstairs has a booming entertainment center, and stays up to the wee hours playing video games that sound like thunder coming through the ceiling. The kitchen is half the size ours was at home, our master bedroom won't fit all our furniture, and there's so little cabinet and closet space we had to pay extra for a storage area, but it's only a six month lease, so we'll be fine for now.

It's in a good neighborhood, right across the street from the community college. We have a washer and dryer in our unit, and though they're so tiny that two bath towels make a full load, it sure beats trucking back and forth to a laundry room with two kids. The living room is very spacious, and having everything on one level is so refreshing. There's a theater and outlet mall just down the street, and plenty of restaurants and other shopping nearby. Tomorrow, Dave's first day at work, Mom and I will take the girls driving around the neighborhood while they're working on our apartment, and try to get the lay of the land.

Moving In

The first day (Saturday) was spent signing paperwork, getting groceries, and trying to find warm enough clothes for the girls somewhere in our luggage. Although we hear it's in the 80's back home, it's hovering around 70 here. Dave had hired a couple movers to help unload the truck and carry the furniture. They had everything stacked in the apartment within a couple hours. My mom has been staying with us to help me unpack, which has been a huge blessing.

Today (Sunday) was spent mostly unpacking, running errands, and doing laundry. We set up Eva's room as closely to her old room as possible, and she seems to be adjusting well. In typical toddler fashion, she's taking advantage of every opportunity to get into things she shouldn't. It was cloudy and rainy in the afternoon, so Mom took us out to dinner to get a break. It was a sports bar and grill, with the Yankees/Red Sox game on one TV, and the Chargers/Patriots on the other. Naturally, Dave needed to see how they ended, so he hurriedly installed the TV as soon as we got home. The community college across the street hosted a heritage festival all day, and was blaring mariachi music well into the evening. It's as if we never left home!

Traveling Stories

While Dave drove our U-Haul north, towing my car, I flew with the girls to my parents' in southern Oregon. The girls were absolute angels, apart from Eva dropping her toys in the aisle as soon as she was tired of them. It was Amanda's first time on a plane, at 7 weeks old (Ironically, that's how old Eva was for her first flight, when we accompanied Dave to Seattle). We first flew to Portland, where we caught a connecting flight to Medford. I bought lunch at Wendy's and walked the length of the terminal to our gate, only to be told they had switched our flight to another gate. There I was with Amanda in the sling, pushing Eva in the stroller with one hand, my sandwich in the other, running as fast as I could back to the other end of the airport. Then both the girls needed diaper changes, so I hurriedly used the reclining stroller as a changing table, just in time to board. On both flights we were seated in the back of the plane with other young families. Whether that was due to "back of the bus" syndrome, or the ease of boarding us first, I'll let you decide.

Dave had his own challenges, because one of the tires on the towing trailer for my car lost it's re-tread. Dave ended up staying an extra night on the road, holed up in a hotel near Redding while waiting for U-Haul to come out and replace it. When he got to my parents' he unloaded a bunch of boxes for storage, and the next day we drove up with my mom to Gresham. Again, the girls were angels throughout the 5-hour drive, and we only had to pull over twice for rest stops.

9/10/07 - Here We Go!!

It's hard to believe that only 7 weeks ago I delivered a newborn daughter in this very house. I thought that was a big change, but little did I know how our lives were about to change even more! Now we've packed up everything we own, leaving the house we've shared since the day we were married, and are off to start a new life in Oregon. I confess I feel pretty numb right now, completely in "get business done" mode. I don't think it has really sunk in that we're not coming back. I drive through familiar streets to familiar places, and see familiar faces, and I can't really believe that I won't be seeing them any more. It doesn't seem real yet.

I have no idea what to expect, except that I'm probably in for a real culture shock. I've never moved to a new place sight unseen before. I have no memory of ever living outside of California (while in the states), or any place where it snows. All I know is that I'll be learning how to be the new mother of two, in a new state and city where I don't know a soul. My comfort is that wherever we may go, Jesus is always with us and has gone before us. I know He opened this door for us, and has prepared the way for everything we need, including new friends and a church family. Dave and I as a team can do anything, and our family is strong. We have two beautiful girls now, and as stressful as a new baby and major move may be, back-to-back, both are a blessing.

Helping Kids Adjust

All the excitement and stress of moving is finally starting to take it’s toll on the girls. Everything being boxed up, tons of people in and out, and the whole house in disarray. Eva has become much more clingy, sensitive, and prone to tantrums. She’s started waking several times at night, screaming and crying. Amanda wants to nurse non-stop. Whether that’s another growth spurt or simply wanting to close in response to the stress, I don’t know. Dave and I are doing our best to dish out lots of hugs and kisses and eye contact. We’re trying to reassure them, especially Eva, that everything is OK and there’s no need to worry. Someone suggested we try to explain to Eva where we’re going and what we’re doing, even if it seems like she’s too young to understand. So we tell her we’re flying to Grandma and Grandpa Stone’s house for a visit, and then they’re taking us to our new house. I don’t know if any of it makes a dent, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

Comic Relief

Saying Good-Bye

We went to visit Grandma Geri today. Eva showed off that she now knows how to count to five on one hand. It’s hard to think that we won’t be able to bring the girls by to visit her as often as we’ve been used to. I know she’ll really miss them, and the feeling is mutual. Aunt Nanci and Cousin Haden came by to help us paint, bringing a “Good-bye” cake. Uncle Xavier and Auntie Amber brought us all Baja Fresh for dinner, helped move furniture and pack up some last minute stuff. We’re all so used to hanging out at a minute’s notice, dropping by each other’s houses without even a thought. It’s going to be a difficult adjustment, living so far away from such close friends.

September 11th

The 6th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks is tomorrow. Usually I try to make it a day of solemn remembrance. Some may think it's morbid, reliving a horror we'd all rather forget. But in a society that is too easily desensitized and lulled into complacency, I don't ever want to forget the horror I felt that day, and how easily it can happen again if we don't stay passionately motivated to stop it. I don't want to forget that this was a deliberate, man-made atrocity, and the monsters who perpetrated it are all too eager to do it again. We need to stay angry and horrified as if it happened yesterday, because the day we cease to care is the day we become lazy and let our guard down. I'd rather re-live the past once a year than live through another horror we allowed to happen. This year, Sept. 11th will be a crazed day of last-minute preparations and good-byes, but still, I won't forget.

9/9/07 - Family Visits

A bunch of Dave's family came by today to meet Amanda, help us pack, and say good-bye. Aunt Laura drove out with Grandpa Gordon, Uncle Mark and Cousin Riley. It was the first time any of them had seen Amanda, and the first time Grandpa had seen Eva since her first birthday. Aunt Nanci came over from her house (just a few blocks away). Later, my Aunt Gayle and Uncle Mark arrived, and my cousin Josh (which would make him the girls' second cousin). We visited over pizza, and packed up a bunch of boxes in half the time it would have taken otherwise. It was nice to see everyone before we moved. I'm especially glad they all got to meet Amanda.

Aunt Laura

Riley, Mark & Laura

Cousin Joshua

9/8/07 - Monkey See, Monkey Do

Eva loves to copy everything she sees Mommy do. This morning she tried on my breast pump, and I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of what would happen if I switched it on. She'll shove my nursing pads down her shirt, put the Boppy pillow on her lap, and lift her shirt to "nurse" her dolly, just like Mommy. When I put on lotion after a shower, Eva automatically wants to, too. She'll prop her leg up and try to slather a dollop of lotion over it, just like she's seen me do. I'm really having to watch my mouth, too, because she's copying everything we say like a parrot, adding new words to her vocabulary by the day.

She really missed her Daddy while he was gone this week, asking for him every time she woke up in the morning or from a nap. On the last night she knew it was close to bedtime, looked up the stairs longingly for Daddy (he always puts her to bed), and burst into tears. Just as I was trying to comfort her, Dave called. She grabbed the phone and told him “cry!” over and over, to let him know she’d been crying. Then she said “I weeve you!” (love you). It was so sweet!

Sleep Deprivation

Right now there's so much to do and not enough time to get it done. I rarely get to bed before midnight, and am awoken several times during the night by either one girl or the other. It's so tempting to just roll over in bed and nurse Amanda back to sleep, but I know if I don't get up to change her at least once, her diaper will overflow by morning. The lack of sleep is starting to catch up with me. If I'm fortunate enough to fall asleep on the couch with Amanda in my arms at some point during the day, something inevitably wakes me within a few minutes. Caffeine is off limits because it gets into my milk and gets the baby all buzzed. I'm growing accustomed to the burning sensation in my eyes throughout the day. I like to think that I might get a chance to catch up on sleep once I'm at my parents' house for a few days.

Helpers

Everyone has been so generous and helpful, especially while Dave was gone for 3 days, taking up the first load. Aunt Nanci has taken Eva on numerous occasions, and Amber brought me a box full of fancy packing paper so I wouldn’t have to wrap my dishes in dirty newspaper. Karen came over and spent all day Thursday with me, at one point holding a sleeping Amanda for 3 solid hours so I could pack up my kitchen. The baby never would have slept so long if we had laid her down. Her tummy troubles just won’t let her. Jennifer, the mother I was donating milk to, and Laurelle, a good friend from church, came over this afternoon and helped me pack several boxes. And more help has been promised by friends and family in the next several days. With a toddler and 6-week-old infant, there’s no way I would have ever been able to get half of this done. We are truly blessed!

9/5/07 - Amanda Firsts

Amanda got her birth certificate today! We drove her down to our appointment at the Vital Records office (per requirement for out-of-hospital births) and finally got it done. Now we need to get her Social Security number, but I think that will have to wait until we get to Oregon. She got her first trip to the beach on Sunday, too, when Phil and Laurelle invited us. It was a desperate attempt to escape the heat wave that was baking us: 104 degrees!

Precious Moments

We’re trying to squeeze in every minute we can get with friends and family before we go. Mostly that involves asking them to come over and help us pack. LOL! Aunt Nanci has taken Eva on several outings in the past few days, and Eva loves spending time with her. She’s always asking about “Auntie” or “Bandit” (Nanci’s dog). It’s cute now, but in a couple weeks that plea is going to be sad for me, knowing I can’t take her over there to visit. We’ve been spoiled, living within walking distance of their house for the past 5 years, and had a habit of dropping by unannounced. Dave says one of the hardest things is going to be not seeing his nephews as often. Our families have traded babysitting since Eva was born, so it’s going to be a withdrawal for both of us.

Packing

It’s a tedious chore, but it has to be done. Now that it’s finally cooling off, I hope we can get more accomplished. The past three days it was simply been too hot to go upstairs to do anything after 10am. The house is about half packed at this point, and already is starting to look barren. The pictures are gone from most of the walls, there are boxes everywhere, and it’s hard to find things. Dave is taking the first load up to Oregon this week, taking things we want to store at my parent’s place in Grants Pass. Then he’ll drive to Portland and leave his truck there, and fly home. I’ve been enlisting friends and family to help me while he’s gone. I can pack, or I can watch two kids, but rarely both at the same time. It’s a juggling act either way. Most of what I’ve accomplished so far has been in logistics: booking flights, making phone calls, getting arrangements made for our new address.

9/2/07 - Baby Dedication

This was most likely our last Sunday service at the church we've called home for the last 5 years. We had baby Amanda dedicated by our pastor Craig, a last minute request. It's nothing fancy, just a prayer of blessing over her, but still I preferred to have it done by someone we know and love. Then they all gathered around our family to pray for us and bless us as we said good-bye. It was a very sweet send-off. A lot of people are sorry to see us go, especially so quickly and unexpectedly. It's going to be hard to say good-bye to our church family. They've known us as newlyweds, when we first found out we were going to be parents, and through this last difficult pregnancy. We've seen them go through a lot as well, from moving facilities several times, to changes in leadership and focus. We worked with the high school for awhile, Dave went with them to Biloxi to help with the Hurricane Katrina recovery, and I had the mommy group and helped start the library.

I hope we can find another close-knit church family where we're going. This was a sweet, laid back group of people. Jeans and T-shirts, contemporary music, and a real family atmosphere. We'd let the young kids run around waving colorful flags during worship, encouraging them to join in instead of making them sit still. That's really hard for young children with short attention spans, and I don't think it's fair to expect more from kids than they're developmentally ready for. It's nice to be a part of a church that understands where you're coming from and accepts you just the way you are (kids too), without trying to conform you to some man-made standard of how you should be.

Life Changes

There have been so many major changes in our lives the past three months, we can barely catch our breath. The loss of Dave's job in June, the arrival of our new daughter in July, and now the move of our entire household to another state. Changes for the good, certainly, but still stressful. The weather hasn't helped, either: nearly 100 during the day, around 82 at night, and very humid with no breeze. Dave and I have both have been snippy and impatient with each other (which would probably be expected of sleep deprived new parents, even with everything else aside). We've both have our ideas about how things should be done, and have been arguing more than usual. I'm sure that has an effect on Eva, even though we don't raise our voices. I find it hard to be patient with her sometimes when she displays typical toddler behavior, like stripping off her clothes, making a mess, or throwing a toy at the baby's head. Dave seems to handle that part better. Sometimes it just helps to divide and conquer: Dave takes Eva while I care for the baby, and we both try and see if we can still get anything done. I feel guilty that I'm so distracted with this move, I'm not really meeting the girls' emotional needs and giving them the attention they need. Amanda cries every time I set her down, but I think it's especially hard on Eva. Even though she handled her new sister's arrival remarkably well, I know her world is getting turned upside down right now, and I want her to feel secure and reassured.

Technically, I'm still in the postpartum recovery phase, with hormones and emotions out of whack to begin with. I'm still taking all my prenatal vitamins to help my body heal and produce milk, and extra B-Complex to help deal with stress, though I'm not sure it's helped with the moodiness. My 6 week check-up with the midwife was originally scheduled for Sept 12th. Now that's the day that I fly one-way to Oregon with a toddler and newborn in tow. I'm still in a state of shock about the whole thing.

9/1/07 - Found A Place!

Everything is happening so fast! We've finally found a apartment in Gresham, which is on the outskirts of Portland. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1375 sq ft, ground level apartment, with washer and dryer in the unit. There's a playground and common grassy area for the kids. They're giving us a 6-month lease for now, and it will be available for us to move in on Sept 15th. It's nice to find someone willing to work with out-of-state renters!

Our U-Haul truck will be arriving on Sept. 11th, and we will be leaving the 12th. I'm flying with the girls up to my parents' in Grants Pass for a few days, while Dave drives the U-Haul. Ought to be interesting, flying by myself with a 2-year old and 7-week old. Thank God for infant carriers, slings and double strollers! My parents will take the girls and I the rest of the way to Portland (approx. 4 hours) on the 15th, after Dave has arrived, and help us move in. Dave starts work on Monday, Sept. 17th.

As you can imagine, there will be a mad rush for us to get everything packed and ready to go in the next 10 days. Dave is going to make an early trip to drive a load of boxes we want to store at my parents', then leave his truck in Portland and fly back home to drive the U-Haul. That means he'll be gone a few days while I pack.