11/22/05 - Little Explorer

Eva loves to lean backwards and see the world upside-down. She frequently twists in her seat or my arms so she can get a better look at whatever is behind her. She loves it when I grab her little legs and dangle her upside-down. It gets her giggling uncontrollably. Eva has finally taught herself to roll over 360 degrees, so she doesn't get stranded on her tummy anymore. Her play gym is too small an area for her now, so I've started laying a blanket on the floor with blocks, rattles and her favorite stuffed snoopy doll. She loves to chew on his fuzzy ears. Her new-found mobility enables her to roll all across the floor, and she often goes on until she bumps into a piece of furniture. Then she explores whatever she finds with her hands and mouth. She loves to scrape her fingernails against the fabric of the couch or rocking chair, figuring out what noises she can make. It makes my teeth itch.

Home Improvement

Our refinance went through, so we're tackling some long-overdue projects, like ordering new carpet. Not a moment too soon, because I don't want Eva rolling or crawling on moldy carpet. We replaced the old range oven with a self-cleaning Maytag. It's so nice not to have to worry about it overheating, or the paint coming off every time I clean it! We got my car windows tinted so the sun won't blind the baby through ineffective shades anymore. We also put a space heater with an automatic thermostat in Eva's room, to keep her warm at night without having to heat the whole house. And we finally got family portraits, just in time for the holidays! Eva looked adorable nestled in a pink flower blanket, just like an Anne Geddes baby.

New Memories

Having to go into the other room to take Eva from her crib at night hasn't been as much of a chore as I thought. I just get up when she cries about 2am, nurse her, burp her, change her, and put her back to sleep until morning. If she keeps waking up, I give her Tylenol or homeopathic teething drops to help her sleep. I don't give her Baby Motrin anymore because it seemed to really bother her tummy, making her wake every hour. If she wakes up too early in the morning, before we're ready to get up, I just nurse her back to sleep in our bed, and let her wake us both with her cooing an hour or so later. She lies there contentedly between us, studying our faces while she plays with her hands and gurgles softly. Once she knows she's got our attention, she'll start waving her arms, gently smacking us, or poking us with her thumb. It makes it impossible to go back to sleep, but what a wonderful way to wake up. I think Dave loves it because it gives him some bonding time with Eva before he leaves for work in the morning. She's such a happy little person, it can't help but make your day. I love it because I'm not a real morning person, and she gets me off on the right foot. Especially on days like today, when I discovered that my period had come back. Guess the vacation is over. I had hoped I could stall it a few more months, but introducing solid food means the baby doesn't nurse as much. So it's back to the feminine grindstone for me. Bummer.

11/12/05 - Tootsies and Chi-Chi's

Eva is now able to sit up "tripod style", supporting herself with her hands, which she thinks is the greatest. Every time I prop her up in this pose, she giggles like a madman. She's also found a new toy: her feet!  Eva loves to grab her tiny toes at every opportunity, like when I change her diaper. As a bonus, she's picked up an irritating new habit of blowing spit bubbles, which is a real riot when I'm feeding her baby food. Yesterday she sprayed green beans all over me. As fun as introducing new foods has been, there's a rotten trade off. Her diapers have gone from smelling like sweet nothings to genuine stink bombs.

The funny thing is, she started all of these skills not five seconds after I read about them in Dr. Sear's "The Baby Book." Right on cue. Teething has been rough on both of us. Her attempts to soothe sore gums are giving me sore nipples. Share the love, right? At first she kept trying to bite me, and I’d pop her off and yell “no!” into her surprised little face. This happened once at my friend Rachel’s house, and her three-year old son Kainoa walked up to Eva and scolded “no bite chi-chi’s!”, his baby name for breasts. It was hilarious. Eva’s never had a problem latching on properly, but I think she’s starting to do more chewing motions than sucking, and it hurts after awhile. She also has a habit of breaking away for a minute and then wanting back on, even in her sleep, which can be wearing.

If I Only Had A Brain...

Ditziness has reached an all new low. I was in the mall parking lot, taking the stroller out of the trunk of the car. It wasn't until I slammed down the lid that I realized the keys were in there. Fortunately the car wasn't locked, so I took Eva out of her car seat and called Dave to ask him to bring a spare key. He called his sister, who was heading in my direction anyway. She stopped by the house to get my spare key and met me in front of JC Penney. Aunt Nanci to the rescue! The next day I was telling my friend Jessica about it when she asked, "why didn't you just pop the trunk from the driver's side?" I was stunned: that had never occurred to me. She laughed hysterically into the phone, and Dave overheard our conversation and started howling. How could I be that dense? Baby took my brain. I'm more convinced than ever.

11/7/05 - Separation Anxiety

Since Eva still refuses to take a bottle of breastmilk, I’ve decided I'll just make sure she has a good feed before I go anywhere. I thought that I would be fine leaving her for awhile. Didn't I leave her with my Mom for an hour at 8 weeks old so we could go out on our anniversary? I often leave her downstairs with Dave while I go take a shower or something. Of course, I'm always close enough to be summoned if Eva gets too upset. But this week was the first time I left her at home with Dave at bedtime, when she's used to me putting her to sleep. I fed her and took off for a couple of hours of Discovery Toys training. I thought I would find it liberating.

When I got there, I checked my cell phone to see if Dave was trying to call me. No signal. That was it. I was a wreck the entire meeting. What if she was crying inconsolably this very moment, and Dave couldn't reach me? What if he was pacing the floors with her, unable to get her to sleep? My mind wouldn't shut off. I was now the neurotic, paranoid parent everyone swears they'll never become. The second it was over I called home. "How is she doing? Is she sleeping?" I asked Dave. "She was until the phone rang,” he said in irritation. Oops. I got home in time to see her slumbering peacefully in the crib, without me. I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

Sunday rolled around, and I summoned the courage to leave her with the other munchkins in the childcare provided for the parent's meeting. When we went to pick her up, we were told that she had been one of the best babies there. It's all the same children she sees at my mommy's group, and she just loves to lie on the floor of the playroom and watch everybody run around. She likes to be at the center of the action. Occasionally my friend's son will come over and perform antics to make her laugh. After getting such a great response out of her at the pumpkin patch, he always looks forward to entertaining her.

Nightly Rounds

Eva turned five months old this week. It hardly seems possible. As much as I've dreaded it, I've finally started putting her in her crib at night. I really wanted to keep her next to our bed, but she's just getting too tall for her bassinet. Because I've never left her to cry it out, she's not afraid of being put down in a new place. First I set her down sleepy during the day, and stood beside the crib as she looked around and took it all in. Then I turned on an air purifier to provide some white noise. She fell asleep without hardly any fussing. Now I’m putting her there at night.

Although we had a month-long break, teething has begun again in earnest. Eva can no longer sleep through the night without Tylenol or baby Orajel. She wakes repeatedly, wanting to nurse for comfort. Last night was really difficult. When she woke for her 3am feeding, I took her out of her crib and her hands were like icicles. I dressed her in an extra layer and nursed her in bed until she fell asleep. But the minute I laid her back in that cold crib, she woke up. After three tries in an hour, I finally took her back to bed with me to stay. What matters to me is that we all get some sleep, regardless of where. It’s just that I would prefer more room to stretch out.

All these adjustments have taken a worse toll on me than they have on Eva. I had a nightmare the other night that Eva was missing after I handed her off to a childcare worker, and no one would help me find her. Then I woke to a strange sound on the monitor and raced into her room. Eva had pulled an afghan over her face and was gasping, something she had never done in her bassinet. I went right out the next day and bought her a wearable blanket called a sleep sack. It's not as warm, but it's safer.

New Flavors

I introduced Eva to strained green beans for the first time. At first she swirled them around in her mouth with the studied look of a gourmet connoisseur. But soon they seemed to grow on her. It's fun to watch her trying out new foods. I went out and bought her several different first foods to try, like peas, carrots, apples and sweet potatoes, but I'll space out introducing them at least a few days between each one. I had planned to wait longer before introducing fruit, but Eva was screaming in the car on the way home from the store the other night, so I opened the first jar of baby food I could grab and let her suck pureed bananas from my finger while Dave drove. I’m getting a book of baby food recipes so I can make my own at home.