3/26/05 - Home Improvement

Ever since the appearance of that little pink line, Dave has had a list of projects he wanted to finish before the baby came. The biggest one was to scrape the popcorn off the ceilings and retexture them, room by room. Last weekend he tackled the living room, dining room and entryway, an enormous project that left powdery white residue all over everything. It was the perfect time to do it since we are still waiting for our new couches to arrive, and our living room furniture consists only of my rocking chair and Dave's office chair. He didn't want me near the house breathing this stuff, so I spent the whole weekend running errands and visiting friends. Of course that meant I had to spend some time shopping. I went to Wal-Mart for a few things and found an adorable pink Padres baseball jersey and a baby surfer girl wetsuit. Eva will definitely be dressed like her father's daughter.

Baby Gifts

Presents have already started flowing in. My friend Amber is always finding baby girl outfits and can't wait to give them to me. Eva, my Matron of Honor who we're naming the baby after, made an adorable personalized blanket with a rubber ducky pattern on it. She also sent me several cute outfits, a rattle and a rubber ducky bath toy that tests the temperature of the water. Jessica and Mark have generously given us several baby items that their son has outgrown, in addition to all the maternity clothes. One of my customers dropped off a pink afghan that she knitted, and a former co-worker unexpectedly brought me a warm sleeper and dress that she picked out. I've had to discipline myself not to buy many baby clothes because I know I'll get plenty from friends and well wishers.

Showing

Although it's uncomfortable, the side benefit to showing is that it makes it obvious to people why I'm slower, klutzier and more tired than usual. People say I'm carrying her "all up front", which I hope is a nice way of saying I don't look as fat as I feel. One unscrupulous customer asked me if I was having twins. It's a good thing I'm not insecure about my weight and have a good sense of humor, because if he says that to another preggie, he's likely to get his eyes scratched out. My challenge right now is resisting the urge to constantly scratch my itching belly, especially in public. I also find myself constantly pulling my pants up because my lack of a waist makes them hard to stay in place. Ahh, the challenges of pregnancy that no one warns you about. I look in the mirror and find it amazing that my belly could get that big. Even more crazy is the thought that I have two more months to grow, and I hear that the baby gains about half a pound a week during the last month. Yikes!

3/17/05 - Uphill Going

I'm 30 weeks along now. It's hard to imagine. My belly is starting to press up against my chest when I sit down, which gets uncomfortable at times. Things are getting crowded in there, which can make it hard to breathe in certain positions. My nosebleeds have unexpectedly started up again, and I'm also getting occasional leg cramps, especially at night. I've had frequent Braxton Hicks contractions this past week, which seem to kick in whenever I start moving around after sitting too long. I'm hoping they'll be productive towards the end. I've heard of some women whose pre-labor contractions had them dilated nearly to five centimeters before their hard labor began. That would be nice. We went shopping for new couches last weekend, stopping at four furniture stores before we found what we liked. All that sitting down and getting up, trying out different sofas, was quite a workout with my big buddha belly. The other day my co-worker dropped a diamond ring on the floor, and without thinking I stooped to pick it up. I had to spread my feet like a giraffe to reach the floor, which she thought was the funniest thing she'd ever seen. Good to know that I'm entertaining.

Long Distance Family

I never imagined I would be so far away from my family when I had kids. My parents moved to Oregon shortly after Dave and I were married, and it was the best thing for them, and for my little brother and sister. But it's still somewhat disappointing not to be able to share this time with them. My pregnancy journal is one way for them to participate, since they won't get to see the baby until she's a couple months old. All except my Mom. She'll be flying down within a couple weeks to help me recover. I miss having them here partly because I want my kids to have the benefit of Christian family around them. We have wonderful Christian friends, however, who will hopefully help to reinforce the values that Dave and I want to pass on to our children.

Mood Swings

I get grumpy easily these days, depending on how tired I am. I catch myself getting impatient when having to repeat myself with difficult customers, though I hope it doesn't show. Some people are just selective about what they want to hear, and it can get frustrating sometimes. I take a B-vitamin when I find my fuse getting short and it helps somewhat. I'm also jealous of my time with Dave, and get frustrated when he has to work late in the evening or part of a weekend, the only time we have together. As Assistant Director, he has to put in alot more overtime to meet deadlines, which he doesn't get compensated for because he's on salary. He's also sent on occasional business trips. He's being sent to Canada for five days in April, which is the second trip they've sent him on since the new year. It's an adjustment getting used to him being in high demand as an executive. When they hand over the building to him entirely, I'm sure it will be more difficult for him to guard his time off. These promotions are a blessing, but we'll have to work to keep it from intruding on our family time.

3/12/05 - Nesting

The baby's room is coming along. We've set up the changing table, rocking chair and crib, and just need to put together the bookshelf and toy chest. I'll wait until after my baby shower to fully decorate the nursery, since I have no idea what we'll get. But I went ahead and washed the Snoopy crib bedding and set it up, and it looks adorable. I found a little picture frame made of a classic Chevy Malibu with a flowery pink surfboard on the roof. It's supposed to be for a little surfer girl's room, so I bought it to put on baby’s bookshelf. Dave thinks it's really cute. I'm sure he will have little Eva on the nose of his surfboard as soon as she starts toddling.

Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers

I've never had an interest in other people's baby gear before, but I find myself checking out the strollers and gadgets of strangers who come into my store at work. I'll ask a new mother about the baby sling she's using, how she likes it and where she got it. Makes for friendly conversation with new customers, so everyone benefits. Awhile back Dave and I registered for everything we needed from Babies 'R Us. We had fun playing with different strollers, playpens and such. We were trying out the floor models in the store, figuring out which were the easiest to set up and fold down, the lightest to carry around, etc. The playpen was the hardest. We got it to collapse, but had the hardest time figuring out how to set it back up. Turned out to be pretty simple in the end, once we get the hang of it. I kept thinking some store employee was going to spot us and think we were breaking their floor model. It was pretty funny.

3/5/05 - Doctor Visits

I'm supposed to visit my doctor every three weeks now. I've never had to pee in a cup so many times in my life. They listen to the baby's heartbeat and measure my tummy, and of course have the dreaded weighing session. I've gained twenty pounds so far, but it feels like more. It's normal to gain between 25 and 35 before this is over, so I'm still within the limits. The baby is going to at least triple her weight in these coming weeks, so my lower back will be getting pretty sore, I can tell. My doctor approved my birth plan, signed it and put it in my file where the other doctors would see it. She's very supportive, so I'm going to stay with her.

Keep On Growing

My belly button has officially gone from an "innie" to perfectly flat. Although my tummy is pink, there's a diamond-shaped white patch around my belly button where the skin is stretched tight. It looks really funny. I have to put shea butter on my belly and chest at night because regular lotions don't keep the stretching skin from itching. I think it's time to get a pedicure since I can't reach my feet. A prenatal massage wouldn't be bad, either.

Catching ZZZ's

Sleep is getting to be more of a challenge. I still wake up every two hours to pee, but I usually can go right back to sleep. Now it's harder to climb in and out of bed, and I have to rearrange my pillows each time. I still have my Snoogle body pillow, but now I need another pillow to support my belly, or my back starts to ache. Rolling over is a challenge as well, but at least it's only for a few more months. I found another use for my snoogle pillow, though. If I need Dave to give me a backrub, I can curl it into a donut shape that my big belly can fit into so I can lay face-down. It's a challenge, but it works!

Fringe Benefits

There are some perks to being pregnant. My hair is thicker, my nails are stronger, and my skin is more clear than it's been in years. People offer to carry anything heavy, and someone at In-N-Out offered us their table during the lunch rush so I could sit down. Every once in awhile I run into the pregnancy police: people who feel obliged to dish out unsolicited advice or try to make you feel guilty for taking a Tylenol. Thankfully these are few and far between.

3/3/05 - Working Woman

It's strange to think that my time at Ben Bridge Jewelers is drawing to a close. Everyone asks how long I'll keep working, but I'm not sure. I had planned to work up until the end, because I don't want to be dawdling at home, impatiently waiting for the baby to come. I've begun to notice, however, that already I'm not as productive as before, because I don't have the energy I used to have. I don't want to get paid for sitting around, but sometimes that's exactly what I need to do. So I'll just play it by ear.

Transition to Motherhood

Everyone asks whether I'll be going back to work. I plan on being a stay-at-home mom. I don't want a daycare worker raising my kid. I also want to be able to breastfeed, and it's much easier to do that at home. I know a young mother who pays over $850 a month in childcare for her one-year-old. My reaction to that is, what's the point? Save your money and enjoy watching your son grow up instead! I've never heard any parent look back and say, "I wish I had spent more time at the office." My boss has been surprisingly understanding. He says he'll be sorry to lose me, but he couldn't think of a better reason for me to quit. He and his wife both work full time, but their daughter has had the same live-in nanny since she was three months old. He tells me there will be times when I want to come back just to do something different, and he'll keep me on the payroll in case I want to work an occasional evening. I told him that I don't doubt there will be times when the idea is appealing. Everyone knows the term "working mother" is redundant, and being on 24-hour call for a helpless infant is far harder than any outside career. But it's not about what I want, it's about what the baby needs. And babies need their mothers. Those first five years, especially, are so important.

Stay At Home Mom?

I get a variety of reactions from people, from "I wish I could do that" to "You'll change your mind when the monotony gets to you." I have no delusions that this is going to be easy or glamorous. My mom stayed home to raise us, after all, and it was pretty thankless at times. But I also believe it's the hardest job I'll ever love. Dave and I are incredibly blessed that his new promotion enables me to stay home, but we've also made it a priority from the start. A couple years ago when we were trying to find a new house with a yard, we ended up deciding to content ourselves with our townhome because we wanted the freedom to live off one income. We think it's worth the trade-off. And most of our friends are very supportive. One of Dave's brothers told me "I'm so glad my niece is going to be raised by her mother instead of a stranger." It's nice to have a vote of confidence.

Bradley Graduates

We had our last childbirth class this week. Our instructor held a competition between the mothers and coaches to see who could remember the most. Of course we let the guys win. You've gotta give their egos a few strokes now and then. Most of the people in our class are due within the next month, but we've got 12 weeks until my due date. I guess I really like to plan ahead. We'll have a reunion after all the babies are born to share our experiences. That should be fun.