5/26/06 - Little Rascal

Eva's discoveries expound daily. This week she started letting go of furniture and standing on her own for a few seconds before sitting on her bum. She's also started using the baby signs I've been teaching her. Yesterday she signed "more" for the first time while I was feeding her. She's so proud of herself! Her new favorite game is to blow in your face and have you blow back at her. She loves to bury her face in my arm or leg and blow slobbery raspberries. She's learned that she can take off her diaper by pulling the tabs. She likes to open and close the door repeatedly by swinging it back and forth. She knows to put the plastic balls into the toy fishbowl, and she's learned to "throw" a ball by dropping it from her open palm. She loves to do that on the kitchen tile because it bounces noisily.

She figured out how to grind her teeth, just before her fifth tooth finally broke through. It gives me the chills just to hear it. She's also started climbing all over Rebel. He never runs away, preferring to walk a few steps ahead of her and plop himself back down, as if she couldn't follow him. She crawls at lightning speed now, sinking her claws into his fur and dragging him down in seconds, like a lion does its prey. She likes to try and use him as leverage to stand up, and ends up with fistfuls of cat hair. I wish Rebel were smart enough to get out of the way, but we usually end up having to toss him over the safety gate to rescue him, even though he's perfectly capable of jumping it himself. For some reason it just never occurs to him to run for it.

Back and Forth

Great-Grandma was taken to the hospital last weekend for cellulitis in her legs. I took her to her doctor's appointment when they decided to admit her, and then stayed in the emergency room with her while we waited for a bed to open up. Eva was an angel, even though she was in the stroller for nearly 4 hours. Of course I had to keep taking her out and playing with her, but I couldn't let her crawl on those filthy hospital floors. I'm sure she was ready to climb the walls after awhile, but she only fussed a little and never threw a fit. I was very proud of her. Of course I can thank the fact that Eva's quite a people watcher, and amuses herself in public by staring intently at new faces, especially if they're interacting with her. There's never a shortage of that, since everywhere we go people stop us to coo in her face and tell her how cute she is. I'm used to it now, but I think it surprised Great-Grandma how often it happens. Nurses, patients, and pretty much any female within eyeshot is bound to spot the cutie with the glasses and stop to admire her. The latest reaction I'm getting is "you should put her in commercials!" or "she should be a baby model!" My response is always the same, "that would mean a 3-hour drive to Burbank, and I know she'd hate that!" I'm not sure I'd do it even if it was local, and even though there's a lot of money and prestige involved. I'd hesitate to immerse my child in an industry that specializes in destroying innocence as quickly as possible.

Planning Ahead

I'm enjoying putting Eva's first birthday party together. I've bought the decorations, ordered party trays, cake and balloons, picked out presents, and sent out the invitations, both traditionally and electronically. Our grocery store threw in an extra 8" round cake for Eva at no charge with our order. Apparently it's a tradition for first birthday babies to have their own separate cake to dig into all by themselves. That will make for some messy photos! We're getting ready to turn Eva's car seat to forward-facing instead of rear-facing. She's met the weight requirements since she was 6 months old, but California law requires a baby to be a year old as well as 20lbs in order to ride forward-facing.

We also decided it's high time to start preparing for Eva's long-term needs as well. Dave and I finally put together a will and living trust, after procrastinating all year. We used a paralegal service called Legal Zoom, and have been very pleased with both the results and the price. We wanted to make sure Eva is taken care of in case anything happens to us. We've already set aside a savings account for her education, and a couple of savings bonds generously contributed by Aunt Laura. I can't imagine anything worse than not being there to watch your children grow up, but since my parents and grandparents have had the blessing of seeing their kids and grandkids grow to become the people they are, I have no reason to believe that Dave or I will be the exception. Even so, it's nice to know the important things are taken care of.

Mother's Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The evening before Mother’s Day, Dave and I attended the Alzheimer’s Association “Memories in the Making” fundraiser gala as representatives for his company, Emeritus. There were other executives there from the other southern California buildings. I bought a gown, Dave rented a tux, Xavier and Amber came over to baby-sit, and we had our first real night on the town since Eva was born! I’ve never seen anything like it! There were politicians and celebrities from the local news channels, and big-shots from all over San Diego County. The company paid $5000 for our table! The dinner and desserts were exquisite, and we had free portraits taken. When we finally left at 10pm, the top auction bid of the night was at $25,000. What a way to kick off my first Mother’s Day! The next day we got together with Dave’s family at Aunt Nanci’s house, exchanged presents and had fun playing with the kids. Eva got to play the piano for the first time, and loved it!

5/11/06 - First Word

It's official! Eva's first word isn't "mama" or "dada" (we're still both "baba", which I guess is some sort of combination of the two). No, this time the cat won out. The other morning when Rebel came into our bedroom, she called out "eh-bo!" as clear as can be and crawled after him. Good to know where we rank! ;) Now that she's figured it out, we can sometimes hear her calling him when she's crawling around downstairs.

Eva has advanced from crawling to climbing, and has finally figured out how to climb up the stairs. She can climb a whole flight all by herself if she has a spotter. That means we had to put up two more safety gates at the base of ascending flights of stairs. Although they have latches that open with one hand, it still makes it difficult for me to get through the house carrying laundry or groceries. I'm considering putting the playpen back up to keep her safe when I can't keep opening and closing the gate behind me. Since she's spending more time cruising on her feet and is ruining all her socks, I decided it was finally time to get her some shoes. I'm told that babies need soft-soled shoes that allow plenty of movement while they're learning to walk, so I chose an adorable style by Robeez; pink, with little white flowers. Their baby shoes are all moccasin style, perfect for growing little feet.

Big Girl

It's hard to believe that at this time last year she was just a little unseen bundle, still waiting to meet the outside world. What a difference a year makes! Unfortunately, she's not the only one getting older. I've recently started getting headaches from eyestrain. It appears my farsightedness is getting worse, and I've had to order glasses for indoor activities. Like daughter, like mother!

I'm eagerly anticipating Eva's first birthday, and have already bought some party supplies and gifts in preparation for it. Aunt Nanci has graciously offered her home for the party since our house won't accommodate Grandma Geri's wheelchair. Eva's getting to be so big now. When she sits on my lap her head reaches my chin, and she's tall enough to pull things off the table and furniture. She's discovered the remote control, so we had to take the batteries out of an old one to give her. She loves to push the buttons. She also knows what different objects are for. This morning when I got the comb out, she picked it up and tried to put it in her hair. Smart girl! Her strong will is beginning to show more and more. Yesterday she got frustrated in her car seat on the way home from the grocery store, and ended up pulling off both socks, her glasses and even her ponytail!

On The Road

Car naps can be both a blessing and a curse. If I'm on my way somewhere and she falls asleep for a few minutes in her car seat, it can be enough to throw off her entire nap schedule. However, we've discovered at times that the car can be the best way to squeeze a nap in when nothing else will. With gas at $3.25 a gallon right now, it's not the most cost-effective method. And since she usually wakes up the minute you take her out of her car seat, my parent's old suggestion of driving her around the block to get her to sleep and then going home has fallen to the wayside. However, if I have to make the long drive to Great-Grandma's house, I'll make sure to leave around naptime so she'll sleep the whole way. I use the same strategy to try and give her a nap when I'm driving somewhere that's only 10 to 20 minutes away. I'll leave early, let her fall asleep along the way, and then I'll sit in the parking lot playing Solitaire or Scrabble on my pocket PC until she wakes up. Hey, if you can't beat the problem, use it to your advantage!

Night Owl

Eva has been having trouble sleeping again. Her fourth tooth finally broke through this morning after weeks of misery, but a fifth is pushing up right alongside it and continues to make her cranky and irritable. I can feel the little swollen bumps in her gums with my finger. Whenever her Tylenol wears off at night (every four hours, on the dot), she wakes up crying. A couple nights ago it was so bad she would only sleep when rocked or held. She kept falling asleep in our arms, but if we set her down she'd cry. Even nursing her in our bed didn't help because she was tossing and turning in her discomfort and kept waking herself up. It was horrible.

Even though Dave and I took turns, neither of us were able to get more than a combined total of 4 hours of sleep. The next day, instead of using her naptime to get things done around the house, I took a nap of my own. That's the first time in months. A friend in my mother's group had hired a consultant for $550 to train her 10-month old to sleep 12 hours through the night. She recommended that I try it, but since she is a Ferber fan, I'm not comfortable with it. I don't support letting a baby "cry it out", I don't think babies' bodies are designed to sleep 12 hours straight without waking, and I'm suspicious of sleep training methods which are targeted more for a parent's convenience than a baby's natural rhythms.

Obviously the stage we are in now is difficult, but it's not usually how she sleeps, either. Usually she only wakes once or twice to nurse for 10 minutes and goes right back down. I'm fine with that. Already two people have asked me when I plan to wean her. Since my Mom nursed us all to about 18 months, I figure that sounds about right, but I'm not going to force a deadline on her. She can go most of the day without it, but night-time is another story. Personally, if it helps her get through the cold season without getting sick, I just might keep it up the through next winter. Whatever Eva is ready for.

5/5/06 - Whim and Foibles

Eva is 11 months old now! Her first birthday is rapidly approaching! We're so excited because Eva's eye doctor says her eyes have improved enough that we can reduce patching her right eye to an hour a week, instead of every day. Since she hates the patch and always tries to take it off, that’s really good news. It's amazing what babies will consider offensive and acceptable. The old adage about babies being born as blank slates is a myth. They have decided preferences and distastes that are often contrary to yours, and wouldn't budge for a tidal wave. For instance, Eva shudders at the touch of grass. Whenever I try to sit her down on the grass, she tries to lift her legs up and cringes, then cries for me to pick her up. I don't know if it's the texture or what, but she hates it. On the other hand, if she's crawling after the cat and he happens to stop short suddenly in front of her, she'll occasionally end up with her face in his behind. This, unfortunately, doesn't seem to bother her, so we have to be vigilant about making sure she doesn't touch his unsavory parts by accident. Or her own, for that matter, since it's increasingly difficult to makes sure that curious hands and squirming feet stay clear of the danger zone during diaper changes.

Stay-At-Home Slacker

Eva has been clingy since she's been sick, having trouble sleeping and needing a lot more attention. The fact that she's still trying to cut that fourth tooth isn't helping, either. It's affected her appetite and sleep, caused her to drool and bite while nursing, but still refuses to appear. She's also had a recurring infection in her eye that requires antibiotic drops, which Eva hates with a passion and fights me every time I try to administer them. I've had to skip church and mother's group, and it's given me a huge case of cabin fever. The only interaction I have with the outside world at times like this is TV, the internet, or a trip to the grocery store.

I've been spending far too much time on the computer recently, working on baby photo slide shows, updating Eva's website, doing online banking, checking my e-mail, or shopping online. I've even started playing on MySpace, though I only accept people I know as friends. I've found it to be a great way to reconnect with old friends from high school, college and YWAM. One of the girls in my mother's group started a bulletin board there as a sort of online support group for young moms. I've also joined groups for YWAM alumni, Vineyard members, and chocoholics. Doesn't that make me the most pathetic housewife ever? Playing on the computer while my daughter naps or plays with her toys, while the housework sits neglected? It's an addictive form of escapism.

Wasting Time

I've never been a fan of soap operas or romance novels, and I've prided myself on my ability to steer clear of such typical feminine vices. But now I realize why so many women get sucked in to such escapist fantasies. Though we only get 12 channels, I'm sorry to say I know exactly when I can catch a mid-day rerun of "Mad About You" or ER" to eat up my afternoon, and I'm guilty of endlessly leaving the TV on a 24-hour news channel, even though there's nothing new to hear, just for the sake of some pseudo adult conversation. Though I can relate all the events of the day to Dave when he gets home, I think he'd rather have the house clean so he can relax.

I know my "harmless" time-wasting habits are anything to be proud of. Dave isn't busting his butt to support our family so I can waste time around the house. I feel bad because I deeply believe that being a stay-at-home-mother is the best choice for the wellbeing of children. I know I'm lucky to be able to stay home and raise my daughter. I'm not looking for an excuse to go back to work, and I wouldn't stick my daughter in day care just so I can pursue my own personal fulfillment. I just wish I could take more satisfaction in my role as a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom), and do a housekeeping job I can be proud of. It's just so thankless and monotonous at times, it's hard to stay motivated.

The 50/50 Trap

Nothing is as destructive to a marriage than the fallacy of a 50/50 division of labor. It only encourages you to keep score of who is and isn't doing their share. Dave and I never made this agreement, but that hasn't kept me from realizing that I'm not really keeping up my side of the bargain at times. Dave is the neat freak of the family, frequently doing more than his share of the housework just because it bugs him when it isn't done. I, on the other hand, tend to be more cluttered and disorganized, and willing to let things slide when I'm tired. I'm a horrible procrastinator. I do the laundry but put off folding it, I make dinner but leave the dishes.

It's trying for Dave, I know, though he doesn't complain. He deserves better than a messy house and a frustrated wife to come home to. On Sunday I did a bunch of laundry but decided to wait until the next morning to fold it. Dave washed a load of dishes while I lounged in the living room, then came in and told me "OK, I finished the dishes. Would you like me to fold your laundry?" and I got offended. It's not MY laundry, I told him. The house is BOTH our responsibility. "It's OK, honey" he said. "I know you need a break right now. I'll just want to get it out of the way so we don't have to do it later." That made me feel even more guilty. What right did I have to be impatient with him, when he was being so patient with me? He's more generous and understanding than I deserve, and most women I know would die to have a husband who voluntarily cleans around the house. I guess he gives me grace because he knows it doesn't come naturally to me, and in spite of my shortcomings, the grocery shopping is always done, there's always something good for dinner, and Eva somehow remains clean, dry, well-fed, and happy.

Daddy Time

David is a wonderful father, and Eva absolutely adores him. Every evening, when she hears his voice at the top of the stairs, she instantly breaks into a smile and claps excitedly, waiting for him to appear. He's her favorite playmate. The last time I took Eva to visit him at work, she cried when he handed her back to me. She wanted to stay with her Daddy! Occasionally I'll toss Eva into the bathtub with him. It gives me a break before getting into her bedtime routine. They're like two kids, splashing around and playing with her rubber ducky and squirting bath toys.