10/25/06 - Another Goodbye

This has been a long, difficult week. Last Thursday, my Grandmother (Eva’s Great-Grandmother) started feeling ill. By Friday, it was bad enough that my Aunt called my parents in Oregon and told them to come down. On Saturday morning I arrived to help (she lives 45 minutes away from me, in Orange County). She was weak and nauseated, and needed help getting to the bathroom. Even though she got horribly dizzy whenever she sat up, she insisted on getting up and into a wheelchair to use the restroom. We had paramedics come and carry her downstairs to a hospital bed and oxygen machine that Hospice had provided. Sick as she was, she still had specific instructions on how to wipe her forehead with a damp cloth ("don't wipe off my eyebrows!") how to make her oatmeal, and made sure we weren't smashing ice chips for her on her favorite countertops. A perfectionist to the last!

My parents arrived late Saturday night, in time to talk to her before she lost her powers of speech. Sunday she was drifting in and out of consciousness, made easier with meds that helped her relax and sleep. She passed away peacefully on Monday morning, at 87 years old. Only a week before, we had taken her out to Olive Garden for her birthday. I'm grateful she went so quickly, and was able to stay at home. She certainly didn't want to go to the hospital, and she wouldn't have wanted to linger in a weakened state where she was dependent on people. She was a very proud and independent woman. We had her memorial service on Thursday evening, and the next afternoon buried her remains alongside Grandpa in a vault overlooking a beautiful park.

Twilight Zone

The week after my Grandma's passing was an absolute whirlwind. When my Grandpa died six months ago, we only had to plan the funeral and help to comfort my Grandma. This time, however, we had to settle her affairs, plan her memorial, select a burial vault for the two of them, decide what to do with the house (my aunt would rather move in than sell or rent it), and it didn't take long for us to realize that we had to divide her household valuables between the sisters before my parents left. The winter snow would make it impossible for them to come back before next summer. It was difficult for my mom and aunt, who wished they could have had more time to grieve before going through her things. It made them feel like vultures, though nothing could be farther from the truth. They would have given anything to have their parents back.

My Little Angel

Eva was an incredibly patient baby through all this craziness, even with everything she had to put up with. All week I drove back and forth between Orange County and home, leaving around 9am and often not getting home before 10pm. All day she would run around Great-Grandma's large house, playing with the relatives and enjoying the commotion. Sometimes she'd get so wound up she'd refuse to nap in her playpen in the afternoon. Eva would finally fall asleep in the car seat on the way home, and sometimes end up sleeping in her clothes because I forgot to pack her pajamas. She didn't get her teeth brushed all week because I kept forgetting her toothbrush, though she would occasionally get a bath at my Grandma's house before the drive home. It was a pretty insane schedule. There was so much to do and so little time, and everyone was physically and emotionally exhausted. I'm glad it's over and things are starting to get back to normal.

Shoes

When I took Eva to get a dress for the funeral, I had to find black patent leather shoes to match it. When I finally found a pair that fit, Eva was so attached to them she wouldn't let go, and the cashier scanned them in her hands. Just for fun, I gave Eva the money to give to the cashier, so she could buy them. The lady thought that was so cute. As we left the store, Eva waved her prize around to show everyone, yelling "shoes!" and excitedly making the sign for them. Eva is obsessed with shoes, one of the first clear signs of her budding femininity. She loves to try on mine, and will take hers out of the diaper bag or drawer and carry them all over the house. It's one of her favorite words to say and sign. She's in a "carrying" phase now, where anything of interest is picked up and carried around the house. As a result, I'm starting to find things in the oddest places. Once I found a bunch of diapers on my bed that Eva had taken out of the diaper stacker, and later I finally found her shoes tucked into the same diaper stacker, where she had been playing.

10/9/06 - Out And About

The last week of September, David went with our church down to Biloxi, Mississippi, to help rebuild homes that were destroyed by hurricane Katrina last year. Since we couldn't go with him, I decided to fly up to Oregon and visit my family while he was gone. Not until a few days before did I start to dread the thought of trying to entertain a squirmy toddler on my lap for two connecting flights, all by myself! Luckily, my parents already had a playpen, car seat and portable high chair ready for me, so all I had to bring was the stroller. Getting through security was a bit of a challenge. I had to dump the water out of her sippy cup, take off my shoes and fold up the stroller to send through the x-ray machine, all while trying to make sure Eva didn't try to run off. I had stocked up the diaper bag with snacks, board books and small toys she'd never seen before. The little slinky was the biggest hit, and so were the crayons. And while I expected fellow passengers to recoil at the mere sight of a toddler seated in their row, every person God gave me to sit next to turned out to be enamored by her cuteness, eager to play with her and help keep her entertained. What a blessing!

Family Ties

I really enjoyed my time in Oregon, and it was good to see my family again. Eva was intimidated by their dogs at first, especially when the little silky kept jumping on her and excitedly trying to lick her face. But soon she was able to enjoy playing with them, and improved her walking skills by following them all over the house. The first two days were a weekend, so Eva had a blast playing with Aunt Barocha (14) and Uncle Caleb (12). She seemed to think Caleb was her personal entertainer, and would run to him whenever he caught her eye. We went to a park to see the Rogue River and bought tack supplies for the new horse they bought. Monday through Friday my parents worked while the kids were in school, so I could continue Eva's normal schedule and make sure she got her naps. At first she had difficulty staying asleep in the port-a-crib (in fact, twice I took her to bed with me, just to get some sleep), but soon some folded blankets for added padding and a droning air purifier helped her stay down. In the afternoons I'd supervise one kid riding the horse, giving pointers while the other played with Eva, pulling her in a toy wagon on the lawn. She loved it! Eva started getting sick about halfway through the trip, with a stuffy, runny nose. At the end of the week, we drove to Jacksonville to do a little sightseeing, and then flew home the next day.

Oregon Visit, Fall '06

 

Autumn Breezes

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year, and I'm excited to finally feel the nip in the air and be able to wear jeans all day. It's strange to think that only a month ago today, I was still sweltering even in a tank top. But now I get to enjoy flannel sheets, warm pajamas, hot cocoa, and the crisp morning air (I know, I live in Southern California, but we do have some seasons, LOL). Rain is finally in the forecast, so we can enjoy the sweet, fresh smell after the rain, and even light up the fireplace for the first time this year! I can't wait to take Eva to the Apple Festival in Julian and to pick out a pumpkin at Bates Nut Farm. Last year she was barely 5 months old and couldn't really enjoy it, though we did get some adorable pictures out of it. What a difference a year makes!

Oops!

This Saturday we went for a drive and stopped at a duck pond to feed the ducks. While I was taking a picture of Eva walking, a gust of wind blew the stroller into the pond. Everything in the diaper bag was ruined, including my wallet, Pocket PC and cell phone. It’s been a few days now, and my PDA seems to have dried out enough to start working while plugged in, although not on it’s own battery. Hopefully that will improve so I don’t have to replace it. Thankfully all the info on it was either backed up on my computer or the memory card, so I didn’t lose any pertinent information. With my cell phone, I haven’t been so lucky. The keypad has shorted out and won’t work at all, so it looks like I’ll have to buy a new one.

Falling In Love

When I was a kid, I heard over and over from my parents and others how I was “growing up so fast”. As a kid, that makes absolutely no sense. The next birthday, and the privileges that come with it, always seem an eternity away. You just can’t wait to grow up and “do anything I want” (the common childish misperception of adulthood). Watching my little girl grow day by day, however, I’m struck by the truth of that over-used statement. Now 16 Months, she truly is growing up so fast, and yet so gradually, it’s easy to miss if we don’t pay attention. Every day, she becomes more like the person she’s going to be, and less like the person I knew yesterday. She’s barely a toddler, but already I can see a haunting glimpse of her preschool persona looming on the horizon. I miss my baby, but I’ve fallen in love with my little girl.

New Discoveries

Today after lunch, I decided to play a quiet game with Eva before her nap. I pulled out a shape-sorting toy that up until now, I’ve ignored because it seemed too advanced for her. But she’s such a copycat right now that I figured even watching me would give her an idea. I put the shapes in her hand and directed her to the correct slots, and after a few times she got the gist of the game. Then she grabbed a couple shapes of her own and out of nowhere, pointed them at the slot with the same color. How did she figure that one out? All of a sudden, she was recognizing matching colors! I pointed to the color she had in her hand and said “Purple, Eva! That one’s purple.” “Pubble!” she repeated proudly. How did she learn that so quickly? I know she probably won’t remember tomorrow, and much more repetition will be needed before she fully understands it, but I’m already amazed at how sharp she is. After a few rounds I could see she was beginning to get impatient and frustrated (clear signs that she’s tired), and suggested “Night, night, Eva? Do you want a nap?” I put my head to the side, rested against my folded hands in simulated sleep. She smiled and put her little hand against her tilted head to sign “sleep”, and then crawled into my lap, put her arms around me, and laid her head on my shoulder. Who couldn’t love a baby who tells you when she’s ready for a nap?