12/20/06 - New Pregnancy

When I first discovered I was pregnant, I used an online pregnancy calculator to determine that I was about three weeks along. That's so early, a lot of pregnancy tests won't even detect it yet. Last time I didn't find out until at least five weeks, and immediately started feeling nauseated. Since I found out earlier this time, I figured bought myself a couple weeks to prepare before the morning sickness kicks in. I went to the grocery store and stocked up on bland snacks like crackers and jello, just in case. When all the local stores sold out of ginger snaps, one clerk told me "they're really popular this time of year. 'Tis the season." My first thought was how selfish people were to take all the gingersnaps for something as trivial as holiday cheer, when nauseous pregnant women need them just to survive (pregnancy insanity knows no limitations). It felt like I was preparing for a hurricane, but I didn't finish a moment too soon, because nausea has stormed in with a vengeance, along with all the other nasty symptoms. Watery mouth, dizziness, gas, heartburn, fatigue, klutziness (stubbing fingers and dropping things), you name it, I've got it. I'm beginning to recall why I never really enjoyed being pregnant. Feeling the little kicks is the only really fun part. Thankfully, this time I have my beautiful little girl as a constant reminder of my ultimate reward after all this misery is over. There's no doubt that she was worth it, and this one is too.

Morning Sickness

The nausea this time around is far worse than it was last time. Never have I thrown up so much for so long a period of time. I was forced to go to urgent care one weekend, and call the on-call OB the next. I tried homeopathic methods, Dramamine, and finally suppositories. The last finally stopped the nausea, but left me with an awful side effect of jittery nervousness, which was almost as bad. I was weak, but couldn't sit still, and couldn't sleep with my heart racing. Several times I've had to ask family or friends to take Eva because I was too sick to care for her. That was the hardest thing to do. For the first time, I was at point of despair, just wishing it could all be over, and hardly caring how. I don't know how I shall bear another six weeks of this before my first trimester is over. Between sickness and a malfunctioning PDA, updating this baby journal had been a real challenge. I hardly ever make it to the computer now, even to check e-mail. My OB finally prescribed a nausea pill to take every eight hours. Turns out it’s the same medicine they prescribe for chemo patients! It works great, but it’s expensive: $30 for only 8 tablets, and that’s after insurance! So I’ll have to save it for the days when I’m really bad.

Playing Around

Eva recently figured out how to blow raspberries on Daddy's tummy, which she thinks is hysterical. I guess we did it to her one too many times. Now she'll lift your shirt to try to poke your belly button (another recent discovery), and then try to blow on your tummy. She'll try to copy daddy telling her to quiet down by sticking her finger up her nose (instead of her lips) and imitate the "shhhh!" sound. The other day she caught me throwing up in the bathroom, and spent the next hour making gagging noises that made me think she was choking. It turned out she was just mimicking what she heard. She's also testing her voice a lot, screaming at every opportunity just to hear her own voice. And her walking has picked up speed to a full out run, so we've got to be quick. I just don't have the energy right now to keep up with her, so when she gets restless I'll take her to the mall to play on the playground or visit the pet store. She loves to peer in the windows at the puppies wrestling with each other, calling "pubby!", although she still seems to think that all animals are named "Rebel".

Big Sister

Someone asked me if we'd told Eva about the new baby yet. Not really. We picked her up and danced and sang "Eva's going to be a big sister!", but it didn't make any more sense to her than if we'd been singing about the alphabet. She just knew we were happy and wanted to play, and that's fine for her age. At 18 months, Eva is too young to understand the changes on the horizon. She's still a baby herself, in many ways. Time is still an abstract concept, so the present is all that she understands. Telling her that dinner will be on the table in a few minutes doesn't make a dent, because waiting is still a tough idea to grasp. She lives entirely in the here and now. And since she's still learning the names of concrete objects, trying to introduce something (or someone) she can neither see nor touch is beyond her understanding right now. She'll be just over 2 years old when the baby arrives, and within weeks will have no memory of a time when little brother/sister wasn't there.

Looking Ahead

I'm not worried about how Eva will adjust to a new baby. For one thing, she's got a very easy-going temperament. I can leave her in the nursery or with my sister-in-law and she won't shed a tear. I know that's partly due to Attachment Parenting and how secure she feels in her world, but it's also largely her easy-going personality. Whenever she's faced with a new person or situation, she stands back and observes with an intent, studied look on her face. Once she's familiarized herself with whoever (or whatever) it is, she resumes her warm, outgoing attitude. She's been so easy, in fact, I've joked that she's God's way of tricking us into having another one. I know it's rare to get two easy babies in a row, so I'm bracing for a more difficult temperament this time around.