5/28/05 - Overdue and Counting

A week past my due date, and I'm trying not to go stir crazy. Relatives and friends call frequently to check on me and make sure I didn't have the baby and forget to call them. I assure them Dave has a phone list in his wallet of people to call when Eva makes her appearance. If I'm out of the house or don't answer the phone, people assume we're at the hospital. If I don't call back as soon as I get the message, they die of anticipation. It's weird to call people just to reassure them "I was at Vons. Thanks for checking." When I call Dave at work I'll hear a co-worker in the background asking "Is she in labor? Do you have to go?" It's a strange phenomenon. I feel like a volcano about to erupt, and everyone's on high alert. I should have lied about my due date. Heaven forbid I call some of these people before it's all over. Labor can last a long time, and the last thing I need when trying to concentrate is the phone ringing off the hook. There are a couple discreet people I'll call when it begins so they can pray for me, and that's it.

Passing The Time

I have to get out of the house at least once a day, so if I don't have any errands I go to the mall, where it's air conditioned, and walk laps. I've gone to a couple friend's houses for lunch throughout the week, too. It's nice to have a chance to visit, now that I'm not working. Occasionally I stop by Ben Bridge to chat with my former co-workers, who are as anxious for news as everyone else. I try to make sure we're caught up with the laundry or grocery shopping just in case "today is the day". The freezer is stocked with ready-to-heat meals, and the nursery only awaits our little addition.

My doula has been very helpful, calling me with advice and encouragement, and giving me stuff I can do to get things moving. Walk often and have sex. Drink lots of raspberry-leaf tea. Spend time on my hands and knees to help get the baby into to right position (she's still on her side). If contractions start in the middle of the night, stay in bed and try to rest. Don't waste my energy in early labor; I'll need it later. Call her if I have any questions, and be honest with her about any concerns or fears so she knows exactly how to help. Don't try to be strong. I feel alot more confident knowing that I have someone so knowledgeable and encouraging to help me through this. Without her, I'd be alot more nervous.

5/22/05 - Waiting Game

Well, I've officially made it to my due date. I went on Friday night to Women's Night of Fellowship and a couple of the ladies prayed for me and the baby, which was sweet. There's another girl due on Friday, and another on June 4th, so I guess the race is officially on! Personally, I hope I beat both of them. I'm so tired of being pregnant! We bought a co-sleeper/ bassinet to put next to our bed today. I found Rebel’s furry butt in the basket while Dave was setting up the stand, and had to chase him out. Just the sight of it makes me realize how close we are to finally meeting our daughter. I can't wait to finally see her and hold her.

Dave and I spent what may be our last weekend alone walking laps in the air-conditioned mall, trying to get things moving. It's too hot to walk outside. I'm constantly warm now, turning on fans and throwing off the covers while Dave complains that he's cold. It's like a scene out of "Father of the Bride II". Today I finally got into the maternity suit I bought four months ago and went swimming at my sister-in-law Nanci's house. It felt so good to be buoyant, and took the strain off my lower back. I stayed in the pool for over an hour, and of course the moment I got out I felt like 300 pounds.

Getting It Straight

I declined a cervical exam at my appointment last Thursday. I told the doctor it was only a curiosity factor at this point and I don't want to rush anything unless the baby is in distress. She told me he she was sorry that I was upset about last week, making the comment "I don't know what your Bradley class told you, but most patients don't mind sweeping the membranes since it only increases the production of natural prostaglandin and does not necessarily induce an early labor". I got the impression that she attributed my concerns more to Bradley indoctrination than to her own presumption.

I told her I just want her to let me know before she does any medical procedure on me, so long as it’s not an emergency. When she measured my belly, she said "the baby is definitely still growing, and you're not having a six-pounder", which I suppose is an off-handed way of saying the baby might get to big for me. I sincerely hope I go into labor naturally before they start pressuring me to induce. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing, but overall I think they are going to be more cautious to stick to my wishes in the future to avoid any more confrontation, which is all I ask.

5/15/05 - Helpful Advice

I lost my mucus plug on Friday, and have been having significant discharge since then. I’ve been told that gives me an average of a five-day window. I know that probably would not have happened so soon if my doctor hadn’t stripped my membrane, which really made me upset. I was hesitant to complain because I was afraid of starting a dispute with the doctors who might be delivering me. I thought it would make them even less cooperative when it came to my birth plan. But Liza, my Bradley instructor, told me that putting them on notice now would make them more careful in the future, because they would know that I demand the right to informed consent, and they are afraid of getting sued. Liza was so helpful. She could tell how worried I was about confronting them, so she had me role play on the phone that she was the doctor and practice what I would say to her. I’m so glad I have people like Liza and Dawn who support my desire for an intervention-free birth and who can encourage and advise me.

On Notice

I called my doctor’s office to try to speak to her about what she did, but she was gone for the weekend. I did speak with the office manager, who told me she would make sure to let the doctor know I was unhappy and put it in my file that they are to speak to me in advance of any procedure they recommend. She said she believed the reason Dr. R did what she did is because even though I was 38 weeks, my belly was measuring the average for 40 weeks, so I was a bit large. I told her that was neither a complication nor an emergency, it was a judgment call and I should have been given the choice. The women in my family carry alot of amniotic fluid, and what is "average" size anyway? I'm not afraid of a large baby. I even considered the possibility of switching to a local Birth Center for awhile, but it's too late for that now, and I'm confident that with Dave and my Doula’s help, I can avoid any more unnecessary medical interventions.

5/12/05 - Almost There

I'm now ten days away from my due date. My hips and lower back ache, and I’ve gotten a sore throat somehow. I hope I’m not getting sick. My doctor says I'm 80% effaced and 2 centimeters dilated. It's encouraging to know I'm progressing, though it's possible to stay this way for a week or more. The only problem was that my exam was rather uncomfortable, and though at first I thought it was because she was putting pressure on my cervix, it turned out that she had partially stripped my membranes. It really irritated me that she did it without asking me first, especially since I'm still not due for over a week. Now I'm spotting some blood and cramping. As much as I'd like to have this baby early, I don't want to rush my body. Now there's a greater chance of my water breaking before labor begins, which I really wanted to avoid. If that happens, they'd want me to come straight to the hospital to monitor me against infection and induce me if my labor didn't start soon enough. Most hospitals have a policy that you have to deliver within 24 hours once your water breaks. Why do doctors always feel the need to interfere when it's not medically necessary?

Doula Dawn

I had lunch with Dawn after my appointment, and she really understood my frustration. I appreciate the fact that there is at least going to be one other person at the birth who knows what my wishes are and will do her best to make sure that they are not overridden without my knowledge or consent. People always say that decisions should be left "between a woman and her doctor", but it's hard to manage things if you aren't even given a chance to discuss it. At least give me the dignity of being part of the decision-making process when there is not a medical emergency. It’s my body and my baby, after all.

5/9/05 - Working Girl

Friday was my last day at work. The timing couldn't be more perfect, since I've gotten to the point where my feet swell in the afternoons and I feel the need to lie down and recharge. I came home, kicked off my dress shoes for the last time and thought how nice it's gonna be to wear jeans every day. It was hard to believe that part of my life is over, and another is about to begin. I'm going to try and spend whatever time I have left finishing small projects and resting as much as I can for the road ahead.

Ready To Pop

I’m now at 38 weeks, and hoping the baby doesn’t keep me waiting until 42. Dave started reviewing the Bradley books in preparation for Labor. I thought about it, but figured there isn’t anything in there I don’t know already, and it would probably just give me the jitters that maybe I haven’t prepared enough. I decided to read “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” instead. The first half is all positive birth stories of women who delivered naturally, told in their own words. I prefer that to everyone’s hospital horror stories. The last thing I need right now is to get psyched out. Eva continues to grow though there isn’t much room, which is obvious because the skin on my belly continues to sport stretch marks that feel hot, glow beet red and itch like crazy. I even wake up in the middle of the night scratching, and have had to resort to Benadryl cream to keep it somewhat manageable. My breasts have begun to leak to the point where I have to wear a nursing bra with pads, even to bed. I woke up the other night with my shirt soaked and cold, and couldn’t put it off any longer. I hate wearing a bra to bed, but there isn’t a choice anymore. I'm also experiencing frequent cramping and lower back ache, though it doesn't seem to be anything productive.

Life Gets Crazy

Now that I’m not working, I have to keep myself occupied with small tasks while I wait for the baby. I have a few things I want to get done, like cook and freeze a few meals, stock up on postpartum supplies and finish some writing assignments for my Christian Writer’s Guild online course. Things are a little crazy right now. My Grandmother found out three days ago that she has lung cancer, my Mother-in-law was taken to the hospital on Mother’s day because of increasing weakness on her left side, and a lady at my church just found out that she’s expecting and has been put on immediate bed rest, though she has a toddler to take care of.  I want to help, but I’m not sure how much I can do at this point, so close to my due date.

5/4/05 - Baby Showers

This Saturday my sister-in-law Nanci and friend Amber threw me a fantastic baby shower. We played games and opened presents, and had alot of laughs. My friend Eva and I made a bet when we first got married that whoever got pregnant first had to wear an outfit chosen by the other to their baby shower. When push came to shove, Eva couldn’t go through with making me wear a fuchsia muumuu (perhaps naming the baby after her softened her up?), so she sent me a paper doll of my pregnant self with several outfits of various frightening styles. It was hilarious, and the hit of the shower. My mother flew down from Oregon just for the occasion, and my Grandma and Aunt Gayle drove down from Orange County. Afterwards we went out for dinner to a nice Italian restaurant. It was fun, but I was surprised how wiped out I was in such a short time. On Sunday there was a joint baby shower after church for myself and another girl. Everyone has been so generous, I feel so spoiled.

Finishing The Nursery

Mom and I spent the weekend washing all the baby's clothes and blankets, snipping off rough tags, folding and putting everything away. We went back to Babies-R-Us to pick up some final necessities like a diaper bag, crib sheets and towels. It was a huge project, and I'm so glad Mom was here to help. I'm finally beginning to feel somewhat prepared, which is a huge load off my mind.

The Home Stretch

Now that the baby has dropped, it feels like she's sitting directly on my bladder. I have a constant urge to pee, even though I may have nothing but a couple drops. It's kind of annoying, but at least it's easier to breathe now that some of the pressure is off my lungs. I waddle when I walk and get exhausted so quickly. My lower back and hips ache, and my ankles swell up, especially if I stand too long. I tend to feel overwhelmed and emotional towards the end of the day. I'm glad my due date is only three weeks away. I hope the baby doesn't decide to come late.