Autumn Peace Bjorklund was born at 3:15pm, on her big sister's 3rd birthday, Sept 19th. It was just like going through labor, but with no reward. No warm bundle to cuddle after all the work was done. No chubby cheeks to kiss. No recognizable face to hold in my memory. No real assurance of the gender. Just a tiny body to be buried, with dreams of what could have been.
And yet, I’m more fortunate than most. I had no complications and was able to avoid the hospital. I have a loving, supportive husband and wonderful friends and family grieving and praying with us, so I have never felt alone. I have three beautiful little girls to fill my empty arms. I have the privilege of burying our little one’s remains under our favorite maple tree. I have a name to cherish and remember until we meet again. And I have the peace of knowing that this life is not all there is…that this good-bye is not forever.
My friend Barbara had given me the link to Elizabeth Ministry, where I found a burial vessel for miscarried babies. At first I was hesitant to get it, but my friend Katya urged me to order it as her gift to me, and I'm so glad she did. It was a way to bury our child with dignity, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
David dug a grave under the Japanese Maple in our backyard. We prayed together and thanked God that Autumn was in heaven with Him and someday we would see her again. We explained to the girls that this was Autumn’s old body that she didn’t need anymore, because up in heaven she had a brand new body that would never hurt or die.
We buried the tiny vessel and covered it with a large mossy rock and a bouquet of fall flowers. I’m glad we had a beautiful place to lay her to rest.
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