Adventures in Parenting

Lately Amanda and Eva have been struggling with the concept of sharing.  Amanda automatically wants to play with whatever she sees big sister playing with, and is apt to try and grab it.  Eva often responds by yelling or pushing sister away.  Amanda understands the word "no", but that's about it so far.  Eva has the tougher part, because very often I ask her to share the toy, or take turns.  It's a hard lesson, but it must be mastered.  

 

Sometimes I'm tempted to just separate them and spare myself the hassle until they're more willing to share, but then I realize that's never going to happen.  They'll never suddenly want to share, unless I teach them.  There are just some concepts that do not come naturally to our sinful human nature: sharing, waiting our turn, gratitude, self-control, respecting authority and boundaries, putting other's needs before our own, doing what's right rather than what feels good, etc.  There will never be a developmental stage where my children will suddenly have the desire to embrace these virtues.  These have to be taught, and it's my job to teach them.   The discomfort of today is worth it, if it spares her the heartache of NOT understanding this lesson later on. 

 

When I find myself getting discouraged because Eva's been challenging me in the same area all day, and wondering if correcting this behavior is really worth the battle, I remember every awful problem customer I had when I worked in retail.  You know the type: they howl for a manager and throw a temper tantrum like an oversized toddler, and you swear they must have never heard the word "no" in their lives.  There were a few times I just wanted to smile and say, "I'm sorry to be the first person in your life to inform you that the world doesn't revolve around you."   What a miserable existence it must be to go through life, constantly thinking you’re being victimized whenever things don’t go your way.  When I think of these people, it encourages me to keep going.   There are some behaviors kids don’t "grow out" of - they have to trained to think and move beyond them.  I don't want my kids to be the ones still throwing temper fits at 30.