10/16/08 - Testing Boundaries

Now 15 months, Amanda’s bright personality is starting to shine through.  Up until now, we’ve been mostly redirecting her attention to keep her out of trouble.  But now, I can see that glint of understanding in her eyes when I say “no”, and that ornery smile when she starts to do it anyway, just to see what my reaction is going to be.   We’ve officially reached the stage where she can understand boundaries, and wants to test them!

 

One of her favorite activities right now is to see how many reactions she can get out of big sister.  I’ve taught Eva not push or kick Amanda away when sister bothers her, but instead say, “Please don’t, Amanda”, move away, or come tell me.  Lately I’ve been hearing Eva yell “Don’t push me, don’t push me!”, over and over.  When I go in to check, sure enough, there’s Amanda trying to push Eva, and when Eva moves away from her, Amanda will follow and try to push her again.  LOL!  OK, I shouldn’t laugh, but it IS funny.  Amanda knows the minute she sees me that she’s not supposed to be doing this, but she’s testing the boundaries.  Sometimes she’ll even hit Eva, or grab a toy from her and run away with it. 

 

Now is the time to make it clear where the boundaries are, and that unpleasant things happen when you cross them.  Lose the toy, get taken away to another room, have me grab her hand and hold it tight until she can stop hitting, etc.   I’m also teaching Amanda to sign “please” before she gets anything, because I don’t respond to whining.  It’s so cute to see her eagerly gesturing with her little hand, asking for something.