Party Pooper

It’s true that opposites attract.  Dave is the laid-back, spontaneous, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kinda guy who can’t sit still and always needs something to do.  Since I’ve had kids, I’ve become the nit-picky, plan-ahead, “be prepared” person who needs to have a plan, a fully stocked diaper bag (with emergency back-up diaper bag in the trunk) and fully charged cell phone for emergencies.  What are we gonna feed the kids?  How can we squeeze in their naps so they don’t get cranky?  How long will we be gone?  How much gas money is this going to burn?  Such are the questions that my other half leaves in my corner.  Is it because he doesn’t care about the details and figures they’ll just work themselves out, or because he knows I’m gonna take care of it, so he doesn’t have to worry?  Probably, a little of both. 

 

Lately Dave has been frustrated that I don’t seem very eager to go out and explore, like when he proposed taking the kids on a railroad tour.  He’s thinking “fun family outing”, and I’m thinking “how is Amanda going to handle not being able to crawl around for four hours?”  He says “I’ll hold her, she’ll be fine!”, but I know she won’t let that happen.  If she sees me within a hundred yards (especially when she’s tired), she’ll shriek bloody murder until she gets mommy.  I’ll end up trying to nurse and comfort her while she’s cranky and too over-stimulated to nap.

 

I try to be spontaneous and carefree like I was when I was young and single.  But having two little ones who burn me out if I dare neglect one of the details (like forgetting a snack) has made me more easily stressed out and high-strung in the past few years.  Eva is old enough to really enjoy a lot of new experiences, but Amanda is still to little to care about anything but crawling around and putting things in her mouth.  I loved going trout fishing and watching Eva’s face as she caught her first fish, as I tried to take pictures and video.  But truthfully, I spent the majority of the time trying to occupy Amanda by feeding her Cheerios one by one, retrieving her cup every time she dropped it, and keeping her from falling into the pond or choking on every pebble or leaf she tried to shove into her mouth. 

 

I don’t mind, but it IS a lot of work, and it gets exhausting after awhile, and so most outings just aren’t relaxing for me at this stage.  I want to get out and see the sights, but prefer activities that are closer to home and offer advantages like paved paths for the stroller and a quiet place to nurse.  I look forward to the time when they’re both old enough to walk and feed themselves and no longer require diaper changes or naps, and then we can enjoy day trips or camping or Disneyland with a lot less hassle.  It won’t ever be EASY with kids, but it can be less hectic when the activities are age appropriate.  I try to convince Dave that I’ll be a lot more easy-going about outings when the kids are a little older and more independent, but it’s hard to believe right now.