Parenthood

When Dave and I first got married, it was a real learning experience.  Learning to think of another’s needs before your own, trying to overlook their faults and make sacrifices for their sake reveals all the selfishness and pettiness you never knew was in your heart.  It certainly is an eye-opening experience.  If we weren’t so much in love, it would have been a much harder lesson.  But we both learned that love is far more than an emotion.  It’s an action; a deliberate choice to prefer one another daily.  And it doesn’t run on autopilot.  You have to invest quality time and effort into the relationship, or it withers and dies. Suddenly all those scriptural analogies where God calls us His “bride” and “beloved” made a lot more sense. 

 

As it turns out, parenthood takes those lessons a step further.  I never knew how strong love could be until I had kids.  I’d throw myself in front of a bus to save them.  For the first time, I can begin to understand the depth of the love that my Heavenly Father has for me, and how willing He was to lay down His life for us.  And I can see in myself, all the tantrums and misunderstandings that kids have for their parents.  When I play “big, bad mommy,” denying them something they want, or offering them something that they don’t want, it’s because I love them, and I want what’s best for them.  When I take them to the doctor or dentist, they might be frightened and in pain and wonder how I could be so cruel as to put them through that, but they don’t understand the bigger picture.  Someday they’ll thank me, but for now, they just have to trust me. 

 

When I discipline them and try to teach them what’s right, it’s not because I’m a kill-joy and don’t want them to have any fun; it’s because I know that learning self-control, kindness, patience, and making wise choices are essential to their happiness later in life.  How many times have I shook my fist in God’s face and questioned His love or integrity?  Now I can look back at those tough times and see how essential they were to my growth and character, and how God was holding my hand all the way through.  Like our kids, we usually only see the temporary.  He’s looking down the road for our eternal well-being.  As I enjoy watching my kids grow and develop, laughing at the cute things they do and say, and just wanting to hold them and spend time with them, I can see how much it hurts the Father’s heart when we push Him away and refuse His embrace.  How parenthood changes our perspective, if we let it!