Eva loves to pull out our photo albums and look at pictures of herself as a baby. I don’t know if she realizes that it’s really her, but she recognizes and names the other people in the pictures…”Gook, Daddy! Gook, Grandma! Gook, Uncle Xavier!” (She still can’t say her L’s)
I’ve been going through my old pregnancy and baby journals, archiving them here on Multiply by posting them with their original dates and times. It’s hard to believe, but they go back over 3 years now! Going back and reading them, I can see how much I’ve learned, and how fast the girls have grown. My memories of the events are less clear as time passes, but the original posts don’t lie. There are a few little things I’ll read about and realize, “wow, I forgot all about that!”, such as the way Eva used to pronounce a word, or a little quirk she used to have that was so cute. I’m so glad I wrote it down while I had the chance!
I’m also reminded of a few of those harder days I never thought would end, and look back on them with a fresh perspective. If there’s one thing that journaling has taught me, it’s that “this too shall pass”. Sure, it’s a cliché, but it’s true! When you’re struggling in the heat of the moment, usually that’s all you can think about. It can be hard to step back and view the overall picture the way God sees it: this is a temporary phase, and you can take the opportunity to learn and grow from it, or become bitter. Before you know it, you’ll be on to the next step. It certainly makes me appreciate how fleeting these precious moments are, be they painful or enjoyable. And it helps to see things from a more eternal perspective. In the overall picture, do the petty things really matter? Not as much as I make them out to be. Does it really matter where we live? Not as much as how we live. Does it really matter how I decorate my girls’ room? Not as much as how I help to shape their hearts. Why is it that I’m often more preoccupied with how to cleanse and beautify the outside, than I am with how to cleanse and beautify my soul? Lord, help me to see these things through your eyes, and focus on what really matters.
This was a beautiful post. You touched on many very important points.
ReplyDeleteI actually went back and looked through some of your older entries...I found myself feeling a bit sorry I didn't keep a better journal when I was pregnant and when my other boys were really little. I think your girls will treasure these entries when they're old enough to read them.
You're such a beautiful person Rachel (inside and out)...and I really am thankful I "met you". I always look forward to reading about your precious girls and family.