8/18/07 - Double Take

Taking care of two at once is a challenge I'm trying to learn right now. I was kind of spoiled for the first three weeks with my family here, because there was always someone to hold the baby or help get Eva a snack. Now I have to juggle both their needs by myself. A few days ago I had my first experience at being left alone all afternoon with both girls, and I don't think I did very well. For 5 hours Amanda cried every time I set her down, preferring to sleep in my arms. I couldn't figure out the sling, so I had to just set her down and let her scream every time I needed my hands free, like going to the bathroom or getting Eva dinner. Eva wanted to get out and play, but it was so hot I kept the doors shut with the A/C on, and she got a little stir crazy.

By evening I was getting burnt out and ready for Dave to come home, when he called to say he was going to grab a bite with his buddy and would be home later. Amanda was screaming into the phone the whole time, and I was hoping that would be a hint for him to come home and give me a hand, but no such luck. I was frustrated the rest of the evening, but I know it wasn't really Dave's fault. I was just jealous and wished I could trade places with him at the end of a hard day. If he could nurse, I'd leave them both with him and go out to dinner myself. :) But that's the price I pay for choosing not to introduce her to a bottle. I feel that I already don't give her as much quality time and attention as I gave Eva, and if I wasn't nursing, what little bonding time we have would be cut short. She needs those moments of Mommy's undivided attention, short as they may be. When we start introducing solid foods, I'll start to get more of my freedom back. In the meantime, Amanda's needs come before my wants.