9/4/06 - Recharging

Eva is beginning to show that her memory is growing. Now she remembers places and faces even a month afterward. When I took her in for her last shot, she began to cry the minute she saw the nurse come in with the tray. Suddenly she knew what was coming. It's the first time she's had that reaction. Now 15 months old, Eva is requiring a lot more interaction and attention. She's not as satisfied to play by herself: now she wants me to join her. She’ll want to show me a book or toy she found, and will bring it to me to read or watch me demonstrate it. She likes to role-play, giving me her toy phone to talk into, then taking it back for her turn. Most of the time it's fun and cute, but sometimes it can be draining.

She notices when I sit down to read or watch a show, suddenly decides I'm ignoring her and wants my attention. Sometimes she wants it while I'm trying to cook or get something else done. Whether it's just a reassuring hug or satisfying her curiosity, it's getting constant, and at times it can get draining. For the first time since she was born, I'm beginning to feel the need for occasional time out of the house without her (in the house, I'm always on-call). It used to be a change of scenery, like a trip to the grocery store, was enough to refresh me because she was quietly fascinated. Now I often have to entertain her while we're out, so it's not relaxing anymore. I feel sort of guilty for having even the slightest desire to be away from her, but if it means I'll have more to give, I just have to go ahead and find ways to get a break and recharge myself.