Wasting Time

I've never been a fan of soap operas or romance novels, and I've prided myself on my ability to steer clear of such typical feminine vices. But now I realize why so many women get sucked in to such escapist fantasies. Though we only get 12 channels, I'm sorry to say I know exactly when I can catch a mid-day rerun of "Mad About You" or ER" to eat up my afternoon, and I'm guilty of endlessly leaving the TV on a 24-hour news channel, even though there's nothing new to hear, just for the sake of some pseudo adult conversation. Though I can relate all the events of the day to Dave when he gets home, I think he'd rather have the house clean so he can relax.

I know my "harmless" time-wasting habits are anything to be proud of. Dave isn't busting his butt to support our family so I can waste time around the house. I feel bad because I deeply believe that being a stay-at-home-mother is the best choice for the wellbeing of children. I know I'm lucky to be able to stay home and raise my daughter. I'm not looking for an excuse to go back to work, and I wouldn't stick my daughter in day care just so I can pursue my own personal fulfillment. I just wish I could take more satisfaction in my role as a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom), and do a housekeeping job I can be proud of. It's just so thankless and monotonous at times, it's hard to stay motivated.